I had a nosebleed in the shower.

It was a bloodbath.

A man decides to treat himself one day and buys a ticket to the Superbowl.

He bought the ticket the day of and got a seat in the nosebleeds. He arrived a little late to the game and as he was entering the stadium he noticed a man with an empty seat right behind his teams bench. Ever the opportunist he walks over and asks the man if the seat's taken.

"It isn't actual...

I just booked some cheap seats from United.

They were in the nosebleed section.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

It worked for the bull

An old farmer is having trouble getting his bull to breed with the cows and was lamenting the fact to a few of his friends down at the local beer hall.

One of them says, "Ya know, Ben, I used to have the same trouble with my bull, but I got it fixed really quick."

"How did you...

Why did the shark keep swimming in circles?

It had a nosebleed.

A Guy gets a ticket to the Super Bowl...

But he finds he's in the nosebleed section .
He sees a seat near the 50 yard line and he quickly comes and claims it.

"Why would anyone pass this up ?? It's such a great view !", he exclaimed

The old man sitting next to him replies, "Its my wife's , we had gone to every Super Bowl s...

What you in here for?

Nothing! MIL got a nosebleed, so I put a tourniquet on her neck!

At 31 years old, I decided to grow up, kick a bad habit and stopped biting my nails.

The nosebleeds are getting annoying, though.

A man was walking down the street...

...when suddenly he stopped and looked up at the sky. Curious, another man stopped next to him and also looked up at the sky. Soon more people came along and all of them looked up at the sky. Finally, a little kid approached and said, โ€œWhat are you all looking at?โ€

The first man replied, โ€œI d...

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