The FBI, CIA, and Los Angeles Police get into a bragging war about their tracking skills.

To settle the matter they agree to a contest between their best units. Whoever can track down an elusive white rabbit in a ten thousand acre forest wins the contest.

The FBI organizes a vastly complex operation with dogs, forestry experts, sharpshooters, the works.

The CIA takes sate...

Did you hear about the cowboy who was lassoed and hogtied?

He was ropable.

An Englishman, an Irishman and an Italian are taken prisoners of war...

They take the Englishman back and hogtie him, whip him, and beat him senseless. After two hours of being brutally tortured, he spills all of his secrets.

Then they take the Irishman back and hogtie him, whip him, and beat him senseless. After four hours of being bashed bloody and bruised, he...

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"I'm the strongest man alive"

said the drunk man to the bartender.

"Oh really? Well we actually have our own local strongman competition, if you're interested. Keep in mind, it's a bit obscure. You up for it?"

"Psh. I can do anything," he slurs.

"Okay. Your first test is behind that door. You need to hogtie...

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The One with the cannibals...

So three men where in Africa on a mission trip, when they had the misfortune of being captured by a wild tribe of cannibals. They were hogtied, and brought into the tribal village, where the whole tribe was gathered, banging on their drums and chanting.

The Chieftain came out of his hut, and...

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A professor of postmodernist textual deconstructionism doesn't want to cook dinner...

A professor of postmodernist textual deconstructionism doesn't want to cook dinner, so he dashes off an e-mail to his wife telling her to get a pizza.

When he gets home, he finds one of his students hogtied on his dinner table. There's an apple in his mouth, and his wife is absolutely *railin...

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