Only SEVEN people die as temperatures as low as -42F wreak havoc across the American Midwest.

Apparently guns don't work in those temperatures.

With all the havoc that Christmas deliveries bring, FedEx and UPS decided to come together.

Now they're FedUp.

Do you know why Irma quit wreaking havoc?

She just gave up when she realized, no matter how hard she tried, she would never become as big a disaster as Trump's presidency.

One day, a young deer named Frank Lee went out with his mother...

As they were carrying on with their daily business, they came across a river with a beaver building a dam.

The young deer asked his mother, “Why is the beaver building a dam?”

His mother responded, “Not for long. Watch and learn, son.”

The mother then proceeded to destroy and wr...

There was a peasant married couple in Switzerland during WWII.

They had just had twin sons that they knew weren’t safe in Europe with the bombing and havoc around their country. They separated them by sending one of them to Mexico and one to Arabia. The Mexican brother was named Juan by his foster parents, and the Arabian family named the other brother Ahmal. T...

The set of natural numbers, the set of rational numbers, and the set of integers walk into a bar

Before long, they've had their fill and start causing drunken havoc, disturbing all the patrons. The bartender intends to get to the bottom of this matter. Reasoning that a mathematician would be able to help, he calls Bertrand Russell.

"Hey, I've got three sets in my bar and they're acting p...

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A Polish patriot finds a magic lamp...

As he begins to wipe it off, a genie appears. The genie thanks him for setting him free, and grants him three wishes.

The patriot thinks carefully, and then says: "I want the Mongol hoards to sack Warsaw, and then march home!"

The genie doesn't understand, but a promise is a promise...

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There was this Wal-Mart greeter ...and everyday he was cheerful, happily greeting customers with a "Welcome to Walmart; I hope your day is wonderful!" or an "Enjoy your shopping!"

One day a loud, boisterous, unkempt woman comes in with her two children, who are running around and causing havoc as she yells at them. The old man greets her in his usual cordial manner, and she snaps back a rude reply to him.

Smiling, the old man looks at the lady and says, "What wonderful...

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Is it Male or Female?

FREEZER BAGS : They are male, because they hold everything in...but you can see right through them.


PHOTOCOPIERS : These are female, because once turned off....it takes a while to warm them up again.

They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed...but ca...

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A Guy Walks Into a Bar With a Monkey

A guy walks into a bar with a monkey. The man sits down at the bar, orders a drink, and immediately the monkey is running all around the bar, causing havoc. Before long, the monkey jumps over to the bar, grabs a bowl of pretzels, and gobbles them down without hesitation. Next, the monkey devours an ...

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A man walks into a bar...

And says to the bartender "Hey buddy, if I show you something truly **amazing**, will ya give me a free drink?"

The bartender looks around, and seeing how its an insanely slow day, and he's bored out of his wits cleaning glasses all day, says "Sure, why the hell not? But it has to be **amazin...

Bad holiday joke

I love Hollandaise sauce, and put it on everything, but the lemon juice in it reeks havoc on my dentures. My dentist said he has just the thing: dentures made of chrome. Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

Canadian zombie apocalypse

A man is in Toronto and there's nothing but havoc. People are eating eachother alive, people are running scared and others are transforming infront of their eyes. He notices a man lurching over beside him before puking blood in his face, and he tells him, "I...want...to eat...your brains!!" He cries...

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A bunch of mentally ill people get on a plane

A bunch of mentally ill people get on a plane. They create havoc and so much noise. The pilot wants a little quiet. He goes to check out the plane and sees them playing except one person. This person was minding his business and appeared professional. The pilot explained the situation and told him t...

The first day of school...

The first day of school was always great. I remember mucking around in the classroom and wreaking havoc. Picking on the little kids and taking their lunch money. Asserting myself on the playground by tripping and pushing everyone.

I just hope the students were having fun.

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