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Haram Jokes

Say what you like about Boko Haram,

but you've got to admit, 'Whiter Shade of Pale' was a stone cold classic.

What's the difference between a Boko Haram training camp and a Nigerian refugee camp?

I don't know, I just fly the fighter jet.

What is the lightest sin a Muslim can commit?

Spelling marathon backwards.

It's *almost* not haram.

What is the most haram food for Muslims?

Pregnant pig. Because it contains pork. Double haram.

So, the Muslim word for sin is haram...

... does that mean a Muslim's sinful girlfriend would be called a... Haram bae?


I'll see myself out.

If Kermit The Frog converted to Islam, would that make Miss Piggy...

Haram bae?

Are you aware the the Quran specifically forbids dating Gorillas?

It turns out you're not supposed to have a Haram Bae.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a Muslim person say when they're asking someone to be their sex friend?

Will you be my haram bae?

A Muslim couple visit a restaurant known for serving exotic food. As they peruse the menu, the husband exclaims, "Wow! That gorilla burger sure looks good!"

His wife looks up in surprise. "That's haram, bae!" she admonishes.

A Muslim guy's girlfriend was killed for eating pork

RIP Haram bae

a muslim couple goes hunting and accidentally shot an ape. "ouch, that's a shame. can we eat him so he wouldn't die in vain?" said the girl. "no, we cant" the guy replied. "why?"

"it's Haram, Bae"

What do you call a beach where you go to shoot gorillas and break Islamic law?

Haram Bay

A Muslim Couple decided to spend their day at the zoo.

They stopped at the Gorilla enclosure.

The Girlfriend then said, "The baby gorilla is soooo cute, I want to kiss it"

The Boyfriend then said. "No! That is Haram bae!!"

What do you call an attractive primate corpse in Saudi Arabia?

Haram bae

My gf asked me if gorilla meat was forbidden in Islam

My gf asked me if gorilla meat was forbidden in Islam.

I told her, "Yeah, it's haram, bae."

What do the neighbor's wife and a dead gorilla have in common?

They're both haram bae.

The Muslim Who Dated An Ape

Did you hear about the Muslim who was caught screwing an ape? He was stoned to death along with his haram bae.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I figured out why so many Islamic Terrorists hate Americans.

It's because we all have our dicks out for haram babes

A Muslim Imam, after years of adherence to the Quran, begins to wonder what pork taste like...

He confesses this temptation to his wife who reaffirms that pork is strictly forbidden by their faith.



One evening, however, he gives in to his curiosity and buys a pulled pork slider on his way back from work. He finds a quiet bench in a nearby park and prepares to take a bite of his...

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