Lord Commander Guilliman was addressing his Ultramarines, and declared that the victory against chaos is already on the horizon.
One ultramarine who comes from a hive world has never seen a horizon, so he asked his captain what that means. His captain replied, "Horizon is the line that you c...
"I want to be treated like a queen", she said.
So after the pope refused an annulment I accused her of heresy and had her beheaded.
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said.
I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"
"Well ... are you religious o...
A man finds himself seated next to a priest during a long plane trip.
They get to talking. He asks the priest what order he is in. “I’m a Dominican.” Oh, the man replies. “I went to a school where we were taught by Jesuit priests. What’s the difference between the Jesuit and Dominican Orders? ” “Well, they were both founded by Spaniards — St. Dominic for the Do...