Victory against Heresy

Lord Commander Guilliman was addressing his Ultramarines, and declared that the victory against chaos is already on the horizon.

One ultramarine who comes from a hive world has never seen a horizon, so he asked his captain what that means. His captain replied, "Horizon is the line that you c...

"I want to be treated like a queen", she said.

So after the pope refused an annulment I accused her of heresy and had her beheaded.

Heresy

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.

I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Well ... are you religious o...

A man finds himself seated next to a priest during a long plane trip.

They get to talking. He asks the priest what order he is in. “I’m a Dominican.”
Oh, the man replies. “I went to a school where we were taught by Jesuit priests. What’s the difference between the Jesuit and Dominican Orders? ”
“Well, they were both founded by Spaniards — St. Dominic for the Do...

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