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Goers Jokes

Why don't beach-goers ever get hungry?

Because of all the sand-which-is there

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's three days before prom, and Billy realizes he still hasn't gotten his tux yet...

It's three days before prom, and Billy realizes he still hasn't gotten his tux yet. So, he goes all the way downtown to the tux store and when he opens the door there's a huge long tux line. Apparently everyone in town waited until the last possible minute to rent a tux, which shouldn't be that surp...

I wish that regular church goers would stay home at Easter

so that those of us who only come once a year can get in the building.

Two old men are sitting on either end of a park bench...

On one side, the old man is quietly reading his newspaper.

On the other end of the bench, that old man is pantomiming fishing. He takes our an imaginary worm, baits an imaginary hook, casts out with his imaginary rod, and slowly reels in the imaginary line. He then unhooks an imaginary fi...

An older minister sat in the congregation of a younger colleagues church as he noticed fellow church goers falling asleep during the sermon.

The younger minister notices this as well. And so he says to his congregation, "For many years of my life I have been in the arms of another woman other than my wife."
The congregation stirred and gasped as they paid more attention to get the full shocking story.
"It was my mother!" He finishe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Billionaire’s Party

A billionaire is throwing a lavish party for an elite crowd of party goers. Raging well past the midnight hour, the host heads outside and attempts to get everyone's attention by tapping his champagne glass as he walks towards the pool.

*"If you could all please direct your attention to the p...

A bartender is thinking of closing early, it's been a slow day.

Just as he's about to start shutting down the bar and sending his staff home, the doors are flung open and a huge crowd of people flood inside. They're all singing and dancing, clearly in a celebratory mood, and it's all the bar staff can do to keep the beers flowing as the party atmosphere hits ful...

I was sitting in church when a guy walked in and said hi to me.

He then walked up into the tower of the church and hit his face against the large bell a few times.

#BONG BONG BONG

He then walked back down the stairs and said "See you later mate" and walked out. As he left a few fellow church goers said to me, "Do you know that guy?"

I replie...

A MtF Trans woman goes to a Halloween costume party...

But she shows up in her regular clothes. The party goers ask "did you forget this was a costume party?"

She replies "Oh I remembered. I'm dressed as one of the X-Men."

I’ve heard the reviews for the new Grinch movie have been bad.

One reviewer asked theater goers if they would watch The Grinch or a video of a sea sick crocodile, and 90% proffered watching the sea sick crocodile.

My son was born without arms or legs...

For his 18th birthday I carried him to the pub and bought him his first pint.

After holding the glass to his lips and watching him gulp it down, I was amazed to see arms sprout out of his torso!

Shocked, the bartender poured another pint and handed it over to my son, who picked up the ...

A rich man threw a party and invited the entire neighborhood...

In his backyard, in front of his lavish pool, he said to all party-goers, "In my pool are 10 alligators and 10 sharks. If anyone dare swim across, I will bestow them with anything their heart desires."

Not too long after that, a man is seen swimming frantically across the pool and manages to...

What do Catholics and Baptists have in common?

Neither acknowledge their fellow church-goers at the liquor store.

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