Leaver Jokes

... because she'd just put a picture of her dog. I sent her a message, something almost-clever like "your dog can ride in my pickup any time," and she responded.

We clicked pretty quickly, and started chatting regularly. Every day, sometimes throughout the day. Slowly we learned more about... read more

Each time they visit, they never finish their drinks, leaving them for the waiter to tidy up.

One night, the waiter approaches Micky Dolenz:

"Excuse me sir, you waste $30 on drinks every Tuesday that just get thrown down the drain. Why do you do it?"

Micky turns to the waiter an... read more

I'm a devoted beekeeper, so when my wife and I decided to move to a new house I carefully packed up my favorite hive and placed it in the car. My wife asked "are you really going to put a swarm of bees into our car with us ?" I thought she understood that I couldn't leave my best queen and hive b... read more

Then I saw her face.

Now I'm a bee-leaver.

She was a keeper.

My friends said she was no good for me. At first I denied it, but I caught her cheating and now I'm a bee-leaver

She called a friend for a shoulder to cry on, and she rushed over with chocolate and two bottles of wine.
As they were sitting there, talking and drinking, the now-ex wife said „I still don’t understand it. He said the reason was because he wanted to be a pastor?!“
Her friend replied „Well, he... read more

I remained so until the Monkees came to my town. Rather than take care of my apiary, my girlfriend wanted me to take her to the concert. I didn't think she was serious, but then I saw her face. Now I'm a bee-leaver.

I was a real tuba leaver back then.