People say it takes a long time to get over your ex girlfriend

I just needed to step on the gas pedal a little bit harder

How do you get over a fear of elevators?

Just take some steps to avoid them.

How to get over a relationship.

My girlfriend once said:

"In order to get over a relationship, just jump over it!"

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My therapist says I can get over my fear of buffets.

But first I’ve got to want to help myself.

Twin sisters in a Newfoundland nursing home were turning 100 years old. The editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take pictures of the 100 year old twins.

One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear quite well.

Once the photographer arrived he asked the sisters to sit on the sofa.

The deaf sister said to her twin "WHAT DID HE SAY?" "WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!" said the other.

"Now get a little closer to...

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Bowser, get over here!

A young man is at his girlfriend's house for the first time to meet her parents. He's sitting down at a table with her mother and they chit chat for a little, and suddenly the young man realizes that he really needs to fart. He thinks that he could just squeak it out real quiet and nobody will notic...

My friend told me to get over my crush.

I said I didn’t want to,

I’d rather she got under me.

My doctor recommended exposure therapy to get over my fear of being insulted, so she set me up with a specialist.

It turned out to be a great diss appointment.

So i thought i could get over my fear of math jokes

But in the end i was 2^2 to tell it.

How do you get over seasonal depression?

You just fall out of it

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Me: Can you help me get over my gambling addiction?

Therapist: You bet.

Me: Yes, that’s why I asked.

Ya know what I can’t get over?

A fence about 6 feet high.

If you are still into girls who are in high school a good way to get over them

Is to talk to them

I was told “it’ll probably take a while to get over your ex...”

Not at 60mph.

“And that’s why I became a pilot, to get over my fear.”

“Heights?”


“No, dying alone.”

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I caught my wife having sex with my best friend and I'm not sure how I can ever get over it.

I love him so much.

People said I'd never get over my obsession with Phil Collins.

But take a look at me now.

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A guy gets hit by a bus and finds himself in front of iron gates. Confused he asks where he is, "Hell," said the devil "but before you get overly concerned, it's not as bad as you think it is..."

"What!!" said the guy, starting to panic. "How can that be, I'm a good person, this can't be right, it can't be!"

"Calm down," said the devil, "the rules for going upstairs are a lot stricter than people realise - and besides, like I said before, it's really not that bad here."

Unconvi...

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What do you call a bisexual trying to get over a bridge?

A bi-pass

I can't get over how cruel some people are.

I had some Nickelback tickets on the passenger seat of my car, and I popped into the shop for just five minutes.

When I came back, someone had smashed the window and left two more.

Why mathematicians cannot get over divorce

They keep asking x = y

What did the train driver say when he decided to get over his drug addiction?

I need to get my life back on track

I convinced my girlfriend to get over her fear of skydiving...

Her funeral is on Tuesday.

They say it's hard to get over your ex

I think say 60mph does the job pretty well

I was trying to get over my fear of public speaking at a nudist colony.

I just imagined everyone with their clothes on.

Unfair , girls get over 400 likes when they show a little nipple on facebook

When I showed a little head I only got banned

What is the best way to get over a guy/girl?

Truck.

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get over here!

"You know, I went fishing up on Warwoman this weekend and saw something I ain't never seen before in my life... I was just driving along mindin' my own business... I guess I was doin' about 40 at the time, and I caught a glimpse of something in the rear view mirror... Next thing I know, I looked up ...

Babe, after we make love... I'll never be able to get over you

Can you grab my phone?

How do you get over Trump's wall?

With the help of a Trumpoline.

It was really hard for me to get over my addiction to the hokey cokey.

But i've turned myself around, and that's what it's all about.

A friend of mine hosted a party to help him get over his girl friend dumping him.

Three of us showed up. I brought a deck of cards,and suggested we play a game.

He refused, saying we needed to wait for atleast one more person to show up.

No wonder his girlfriend dumped him. He hated four play.

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Spot! Get over here!

A young man was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents. He was quite nervous about the meeting, though, and by the time he arrived punctually at the doorstep he was in a state of gastric distress.

The problem developed into one of acute flatulence and halfway through canapés t...

I told my ex girlfriend " i'll never get over you".

"i'll have to get up and go around".

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LPT: If you're trying to get over a crush just imagine them taking the wettest dump ever.

Unless, of course, you're into that kind of shit.

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Amy Schumer told people she wanted to be a comedian and they laughed

Now she’s a comedian and no one’s laughing

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Carl is in the 10th year of a life sentence when he gets a new cellmate, Jim. After taking some time to size Jim up and decide that he can trust him, Carl tells Jim about his plan to escape. "You see" Carl says "for the first 5 years I was inside, I trained my digestive system to follow my command.

Now I can eat something and it comes out broken down into its components." Jim is skeptical, but intrigued.

Carl continues: "For the *last* five years, I've been swallowing pieces off my uniform. It's perfect, because the guards just think it's rats chewing on it."

So Jim asks, "Well, ...

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Ladies: How can you tell the difference between being hungry and being horny?

# Depends on where you put the cucumber.



My wife can't get over this joke she heard on TicTok. She's told 10 people today. Practically forced me to post in on Reddit.

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A Recently Divorced Man on an Adventure

A man and his wife got a divorce after 15 years of marriage. After a month of feeling down he decided he needed to get over it. One Friday night he and a mate go to a brothel to have some fun. He asks the madam for a girl who is adventurous and special as he has had blowjobs and missionary sex for h...

A New Yorker Was Teaching A Midwesterner How To Ski

A Midwesterner is on vacation in the Poconos. Over there, he decides to take up downhill skiing. He's done a lot of cross country skiing, but he's never skied downhill, since there are no mountains over in Fargo. Fargo's flatter than a pancake.

He decided to try downhill skiing. "How hahr...

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Playing house

First day in prison, terrifying looking cell mate says to me "Do you want to be Mommy or Daddy?"

"Huh?" I say.

"MOMMY or DADDY, which do you want to be!?"

I respond with a nervous "Uh, Daddy, I guess"

"Good, now get over here and suck Mommy's cock"

Two guys are attempting an escape from an insane asylum

Eventually they escape the main building but there are walls around the encampment so they get to a roof to get over the wall, they look at the gap between the roof and the wall and decide it’s too dangerous. the first guy says,
“Alright, we can’t jump across so I’ll just shine my flashlight over...

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The Devil’s Deal

There were three guys- a sex addict a weed addict and a alcoholic. They went to hell for their sin and were standing in front of the devil.

The devil made a deal with them saying I will lock you in a room with for a 1000 years with your temptations and if you get over your sins I will send y...

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The sexiest mythological creature is Medusa

Whenever I see her I get rock hard

Did you hear the joke about the wall ?

Nah don’t worry you’re never get over it

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A marine general, an army general, and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men...

The army general says, "Alright, I'll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!"

The private reports as ordered, "Yes sir?"

The general says, "See that man over there? Kill him!"

Without hesitating, the private kills the man.

The gener...

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