UPJOKE

Over It Jokes

I was so embarrassed that my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set that I threw the bedsheet over it.

I think I managed to cover my tracks.

What do you call a dog that gets frosting all over its fur?

A pupcake.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife left her bra on the floor of our bedroom. It almost killed me when I tripped over it this morning.

Stupid boobie traps.

Why the preference for 8/9 over it's decimal?

Overrated.

If the big bang theory, how I met your mother and two and a half men had ever crossed over it would've been called

How I banged your mother with two and a half men

What do you call the Pentagon with a huge tarp over it?

A Tentagon

What do you call a parasite that keeps looking over its' shoulder?

A nervous tick.

Why did the watermelon have brown spots all over its skin?

It had melonoma

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does everything turn to shit after the British take over it?

Because its colon-ization.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm a building contractor, recently I was hired to create a new set for a porn production company and told I have free reign over its design.

I was never a big fan of porn and was concerned I wouldn't be able to create a suitable set for such productions without guidance, but the client reassured me

"If you build it, they will come."

What do you call a scary dinosaur with a condom pulled over its head?

A Du-Rex!

What do you call bread with your toe jam spread all over it?

Toest

What happens when a plant tries to take over its own forest?

It comits *tree*son.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer buys a young cock. As soon as he gets home it fucks all of his 150 hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunch, the cock again screws all 150 hens. Next day it's fucking the ducks and the geese too

Sadly, later in the day the farmer finds the cock lying on the ground half-dead and vultures circling over its head. Farmer yells , "You deserve it, you horny bastard!"

The cock slowly opens one eye, looks up at the sky and whispers , " Shhhhhh, They're about to land!!!"

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