A bright, young graduate joined the Internal Revenue Service.
A bright, young graduate joined the Internal Revenue Service. Anxious for his first investigation he was a bit perturbed when he was assigned to audit a Rabbi.
Looking over the books and taxes was pretty straightforward and the Rabbi was clearly very frugal, so he thought he’d make his day in...
A Sith, a Jedi, and a Mandalorian walk into a bar...
They start talking and after a few drinks the conversation shifts to cars. The Jedi living a life of austerity and frugality only has a 1991 Camry. The Sith and Mando laughs at him saying he has a Bad Car. The Sith having manipulated others into giving him their wealth shows off his McClaren F1. The...
All my friends are constantly complaining that I’m too frugal.
I’m not buying it.
[Frugal] I ran behind a bus all the way home and save $2.25.
Got home and girlfriend mocked me saying had I run behind a cab, I would have saved $15.
You know what’s great about being frugal?
It makes cents.
My frugal neighbor doesn't want to pay for an electrician to re-wire his house so he's going to try and do it himself. "How hard can it be?" he said.
I think he's in for a shock.
People call me a frugal skeptic
But I'm not sure I buy that
WALKS INTO A BAR... FRUGAL GORILLA
A gorilla walks into a bar and says, "A scotch on the rocks, please." The gorilla hands the bartender a $10 bill.
The bartender thinks to himself, "This gorilla doesn't know the prices of drinks," and gives him 15 cents change.
The bartender says, "You know, we don't get too many goril...
What do you call an ape that's both extremely frugal and fearful?
A cheap pansy
Church of Frugality
Church of Frugality:
"Thank you for the food which we are about to receive. Ramen."
If I had a penny for every time someone called me frugal...
I'd be able to save even more
Sub-Zero paid off his student loans...
There once was a cow from Minsk
The only cow in a small town in Poland stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from Moscow for 2,000 rubles, or one from Minsk for 1,000 rubles. Being frugal, they bought the cow from Minsk.
The cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the ...
An old man and an old woman went on a vacation to Las Vegas every year...
Each time as they walked past the helicopter rides the woman would say to the man "please please please take me on a helicopter ride!"
Every year the old man inquired about the cost of ride. Every year $100 was the response from the operator.
Being a frugal old man he would look over a...
I've never loved this joke but I'm posting as a result of a previous, lesser joke (my opinion, prove me wrong)
A man sees a beautiful woman on the street realizing he must have her, he propositions;
"I'll give you $10,000 for you to make love to me" he says
Considering the financial windfall the woman accepts.
The man then asks frugally "ok how about $500?"
Insulted the woman re...
A husband on his death bed
Jane and Roy had been married for 40 years. They lived frugally and never had any children. Everything they owned was paid for. Roy kept all of his money in cash at home. He always talked about how he was going to take his money with him when he died. Always saying he wanted all of his money put...
A lecture on Love
A village pastor was a bit down on money, so he decided to give a paid lecture "On the love of God". He posted the notice about it, but nobody came, this being a frugal and not too zealous village.
The next day, the notice announced a lecture on "The three kinds of Love". Now, folks got curi...
Told my blonde girlfriend that the average family in a third world country lives off just £1.25 a day.
She said, "And I thought you were frugal..."
Accountants on a train (long)
Three lawyers and three accountants stood in line to buy tickets for a train ride to the city. The three accountants bought only one ticket between them, while the three lawyers bought one ticket each.
After the men got on the train, one of the lawyers asked one of the accountants, “Why did y...
A good businessman
There was this successful businessman who not only had loads of cash, but he was a genuinely good person. He had a charity which was truly non-profit, he helped impoverished communities, he lived frugally and didn’t overtly display his wealth.
His one ‘vice’ was his Harley. He loved ridin...