What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk

As a cat, I'm overfed, over pampered, and spoiled rotten...

And I deserve much better than this!

My wife told me she wanted to be pampered and rejuvenated for more energy

Told her best I can do is huggies and a Red Bull

Joke I came up with (needs work)

So there are this brother and sister who live together, Cee and Sofie. Sofie says she has a date tonight, the guy will be over at 8 and that Cee will have to let him in while she gets all pampered up.


So later that evening, there is a knock at the door and Sofie shouts out from upstairs ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy in a hurry used the ladies toilet at a posh hotel...

A guy in a hurry used the ladies 'toilet in a posh hotel'..

He sat down and noticed four buttons - WW, WA, PP & APR.

Curious, he pressed WW & his butt was gently sprayed with WARM WATER, he loved it so much!

He then pressed WA & a blast of WARM AIR dried him up.
<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

A man dies and is met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. St. Peter says to the man, "There is really nothing extremely good nor bad about your life to determine your fate. You'll have to spend 24 hours in Heaven and in Hell, then choose where you wish to spend eternity."
The man thinks for a momen...

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