This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Went to an eye specialist because I couldn't read fluently

The doctor told me "Son, I have bad news for you and for what I see, you will have to deal with this condition since we don't have a cure for it" and proceded to hand me a paper with my results. I was extremely happy with it!

How can it be bad news having dailysex for life?

A small quiz

Q1: what do you call someone who can speak 3 languages fluently?

A1: trilingual

Q2: what do you call someone who can speak 2 languages fluently?

A2: bilingual

Q3:what do you call someone who can only speak 1 language?

A3:American

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde elementary student returned home from school one day...

Mommy, Mommy! I am the only one in class, who can count past 10!

Mom: How amazing...

The other day, Samantha gets home and yells:

Mommy, Mommy! I am the only one in class who can read fluently!

Mom: Uh-huh, great...

The next day, Samantha gets home shouting:
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gorgeous blonde woman

Is on a plane to Paris. She takes her seat in the economy class, but notices an empty seat in first class. After the plane has taken off she moves to first class. The stewardess notices and asks her to return to her seat.
The woman says "No, I'm a beautiful woman on my way to Paris and I will sit...

You can say about mermaids whatever you want...

But every single one of them can speak their language fluently

A wealthy dude walks into a pet store for people with fat wallets.

He explains that he's looking for a birthday present to his friend. And his friend happen to like birds, so he needs a parrot, a talented one of course.



Store owner says that he's got just a thing and takes him over to a huge stand with three exotic parrots.



"These bird...

I was at the mall with my friend looking for a 'Learn to speak Spanish' book. [apologies in advance for what I hope is OC]

My friend speaks Spanish fluently and he is great with numbers so we were looking for cheap books when we came to the table that advertised, 5 books for the price of 3. I found the books we needed on another table and surprised when I saw the same offer.

"Oh Look, 5 for 3 too Juan."

[...

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This [long] joke always cracked me up..

My grandpa was stationed in Germany after the war. And when I was very small he told me about this little restaurant that served THE best Bavarian cream pie. Apparently he went there every opportunity he had. He couldn't get enough of that Bavarian cream pie - it was absolutely unreal.

Well, ...

Why do politicians take laxatives?

So they can speak more fluently

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Russian dreams in English

from Mila Kunis AMA

Question: Do you ever think in russian? What about dreams?

Mila Kunis:
> I dream in english. That actually happened, later in life, but now I dream in english. When I learned to speak english fluently, my dreams changed to english.

>*Strange, right?*...

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