Jurassic Jokes - 40 Hilarious Jurassic Jokes

Who would blow up Jurassic Park? Really?

A dino might.

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How do you hide a dinosaur from the government?

You take jurassic measures.

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What do you call a blind dinosaur?

Doyouthinkhesaurus

(Full Disclosure: I'm showing Jurassic Park to my kids for the first time)

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So I saw that the new dinosaur in Jurassic Park is a hybrid

Guess that makes it Priustoric

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Q: How much does a ticket to Jurassic World cost?

A: An arm and a leg.

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Can a joke about dinosaurs make you laugh?

You bet jurassic can

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My wife told me to chill with the dinosaur jokes.

I told her Jurassicing a lot of me.

Yes it is terrible, yes I am a dad and yes ill stop scrolling and go to bed now. Salam my friends.

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Going to a restaurant alone makes me feel like a dinosaur in Jurassic Park

Everyone is just there to watch me eat.

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Did the dinosaur era actually exist?

You bet Jurassic did

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I was watching Jurassic park the other day.....

.... when I thought "not only does my son have a really stupid name, he´s also a terrible driver"

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In the future, Jurassic Park starts to become a reality

There is a young, inexperienced employee who stumbles on a piece of amber, and immediately brings it to the laboratory. The scientist is confused, as this piece doesn't look like the others, so he goes off to the lab to date it.

The employee, unknowing of what it is still, starts to put it in...

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Jurassic park and the Depp v. Heard Trial have in common?

They both feature Amber full of crap.

What did Noah say after he let the dinosaurs in?

Welcome to Jurassic Ark

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I went back to the Jurassic period to hide from 19th-century female novelists

But Brontesaurus

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I never thought they would make another Jurassic Park...

...But sequels, uh, find a way.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I can predict your favorite movie with one simple trick..

This math test will determine your favorite movie.
Amazing!
This is pretty damn amazing. Mine turned out to be Gone With The Wind. Thats my favorite movie! I was surprised how this worked.
.
Be honest and dont look at the movie list till you have done the math!
.
Try this test and ...

How does a Brit let you know you’re in danger at Jurassic Park?

“A Dino-saur-us!”

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Did you know in 1998 Titanic overtook Jurassic Park to become the highest grossing film of all time?

I guess the Titanic can’t survive an iceberg but it can beat a Spielberg.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did they serve for lunch at Jurassic Park?

Chilean Sea Bass. Spared no expense.
Didn't you watch the movie?

What do you call a dinosaur backbone?

A Jurassic Thoracic.

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Being a teacher is like a walk in park

A Jurassic park

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Yo mama's so fat...

her wedding music was the jurassic park theme

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Why did the paleontologist measure the height of a dinosaur using a T-Rex's foot?

Jurassic times call for Jurassic
Measures.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

why did the gynecologist go to Jurassic Park?

to see the vagina sores

What would "Jurassic Park" be called if it was filmed during WW2?

Jewrassic Park.

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Dinosaur Fact

Towards the end of the Jurassic period, the Thesaurus was the first Dinosaur to become extinct, obsolete, belated, vanished and wiped out.

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What did the canadian dino wear to keep warm?

A Jurassic Parka

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what do you call a 145 million year old swine carcass?

Jurassic Pork

Ill show^myself^out

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What do you call a female Dinosaur with herpes?

A Gina-sore.
I am drunk and watching Jurassic Park. Forgive me if this had been thought of before, I assume it had but it made us laugh a lot. Have a great night!

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What do you get when you cross a pig and a dinosaur.

Jurassic Pork.

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Why were the dinosaurs so big?

Because Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures

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What would you call Spiderman if he was Dinosaur man instead?

Jurassic Parker

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If the Genesis flood happened in prehistoric times...

...It’d be Jurassic Ark

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What movie did you go see?

My parents had great fun teasing each other and yanking each other's chains.

They were visiting me (38m at the time) and my wife+kids, and my Dad & I went out to see a movie. We found Jurassic Park I (in 3D), and went to see that. It was an enjoyable experience.

When we were on o...

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Yo mama..

is so old that Steven Spielberg used her as a dinosaur consultant in Jurassic Park

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Archaeologists recently unearthed a computer dating back to prehistoric times

It had a jurassic pterobyte of storage space

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do pandas say on Halloween?

Bam-BOO!

That's the entire joke but this subreddit won't let me post such a short joke, so I'll tell a little story like one of those irritating-as-fuck internet recipe intros that gives WTMI.
My four year old is fascinated by finding the perfect joke. He'll often pick up on jokes from tv ...

What happens when you try to fight a dinosaur?

You get Jurassic'ed.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Old Joke

The year is 2120, and our story follows Joe McFlinch and his journey to overcome his inner demons. 'Who is Joe?', you may be wondering. Well, Joe is a cowardly 29 year old male. He has no special talents or skills, no hobbies, and most sadly, no friends. If I were to describe him as a dish, he would...

Do dinosaur's look cool?

You bet jurassic does

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