UPJOKE
dinosaurtriassiccretaceousperiodmesozoicpangaeapterosaurichthyosaurbirdreptilemiddle jurassicriftextinctionepochtithonian

What do you get when you cross a pig and a dinosaur?

Jurassic Pork.

Who would blow up Jurassic Park? Really?

A dino might.

What do you call a blind dinosaur?

Doyouthinkhesaurus

(Full Disclosure: I'm showing Jurassic Park to my kids for the first time)

In the future, Jurassic Park starts to become a reality

There is a young, inexperienced employee who stumbles on a piece of amber, and immediately brings it to the laboratory. The scientist is confused, as this piece doesn't look like the others, so he goes off to the lab to date it.

The employee, unknowing of what it is still, starts to put it in...

Did the dinosaur era actually exist?

You bet Jurassic did

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Jurassic park and the Depp v. Heard Trial have in common?

They both feature Amber full of crap.

Did you know in 1998 Titanic overtook Jurassic Park to become the highest grossing film of all time?

I guess the Titanic can’t survive an iceberg but it can beat a Spielberg.

Q: How much does a ticket to Jurassic World cost?

A: An arm and a leg.

So I saw that the new dinosaur in Jurassic Park is a hybrid

Guess that makes it Priustoric

Going to a restaurant alone makes me feel like a dinosaur in Jurassic Park

Everyone is just there to watch me eat.

How do you hide a dinosaur from the government?

You take jurassic measures.

How does a Brit let you know you’re in danger at Jurassic Park?

“A Dino-saur-us!”

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Jeff Goldblum is a given a chance to go back to Jurassic Park

Against all advice he decides to go and is airdropped from a plane on the island. On his way down he gets awe struck by the beauty of it all and forgets to chute till it's too late.

Luckily he ends up landing on something soft and squishy. After a brief moment of relief he realizes he's stuck...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did they serve for lunch at Jurassic Park?

Chilean Sea Bass. Spared no expense.
Didn't you watch the movie?

I never thought they would make another Jurassic Park...

...But sequels, uh, find a way.

What do you call a female Dinosaur with herpes?

A Gina-sore.
I am drunk and watching Jurassic Park. Forgive me if this had been thought of before, I assume it had but it made us laugh a lot. Have a great night!

I was watching Jurassic park the other day.....

.... when I thought "not only does my son have a really stupid name, he´s also a terrible driver"

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I can predict your favorite movie with one simple trick..

This math test will determine your favorite movie.
Amazing!
This is pretty damn amazing. Mine turned out to be Gone With The Wind. Thats my favorite movie! I was surprised how this worked.
.
Be honest and dont look at the movie list till you have done the math!
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Try this test and ...

Can a joke about dinosaurs make you laugh?

You bet jurassic can

My wife told me to chill with the dinosaur jokes.

I told her Jurassicing a lot of me.

Yes it is terrible, yes I am a dad and yes ill stop scrolling and go to bed now. Salam my friends.

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An Old Joke

The year is 2120, and our story follows Joe McFlinch and his journey to overcome his inner demons. 'Who is Joe?', you may be wondering. Well, Joe is a cowardly 29 year old male. He has no special talents or skills, no hobbies, and most sadly, no friends. If I were to describe him as a dish, he would...

What would "Jurassic Park" be called if it was filmed during WW2?

Jewrassic Park.

What movie did you go see?

My parents had great fun teasing each other and yanking each other's chains.

They were visiting me (38m at the time) and my wife+kids, and my Dad & I went out to see a movie. We found Jurassic Park I (in 3D), and went to see that. It was an enjoyable experience.

When we were on o...

Yo mama's so fat...

her wedding music was the jurassic park theme

What did the canadian dino wear to keep warm?

A Jurassic Parka

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do pandas say on Halloween?

Bam-BOO!

That's the entire joke but this subreddit won't let me post such a short joke, so I'll tell a little story like one of those irritating-as-fuck internet recipe intros that gives WTMI.
My four year old is fascinated by finding the perfect joke. He'll often pick up on jokes from tv ...

Who's Ji-Sung Park's great, great, great, great, great grandfather?

Jurassic Park

What do you call it when two dinosaurs run into each other?

A Jurassic jam.

What do you call an ancient Korean man?

Jurassic Park

what do you call a 145 million year old swine carcass?

Jurassic Pork

Ill show^myself^out

If the Genesis flood happened in prehistoric times...

...It’d be Jurassic Ark

What did Noah say after he let the dinosaurs in?

Welcome to Jurassic Ark

Would it be dangerous for a human to live 65 million years ago?

You bet jurassic would.

What would you call Spiderman if he was Dinosaur man instead?

Jurassic Parker

Why did the paleontologist measure the height of a dinosaur using a T-Rex's foot?

Jurassic times call for Jurassic
Measures.

What happens when you try to fight a dinosaur?

You get Jurassic'ed.

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