UPJOKE
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Falsely Jokes

I dumped my girlfriend after she falsely claimed Netflix was the cheapest streaming service.

I refuse to associate with a Hulu-cost denier.

I was falsely accused of throwing batteries at people

All charges were dropped

What do you call a Snake that Works in the Government?

My account got falsely permanently suspended

Asiana Airlines will be filing a lawsuit against KTVU for its inappropriate and racist names that were falsely broadcasted mid day Friday 7/12...

....said Asiana's attorney Wi Su Yu

If Trump wanted to avoid impeachment...

...he should’ve falsely claimed there were WMDs in Iraq

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The day a guy come up to me and says 'Daniel I know you fucked my mom' I'm going to be very confused.

Not because he falsely accused me of fucking his mom, but because my name isn't Daniel.

Women 3 wishes

A Woman was golfing and accidently she hits the ball into the woods. She then goes into the woods to look for it and there she sees a frog in a trap.*

*The frog says to her: If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.*

*The woman frees the frog, and the frog sa...

Bit of a dad joke - trains in jail

Q. Why are trains always being falsely imprisoned?


A. Because of their loco motives

A Two-Fold Accident

A man gets into a car accident along a busy avenue. His car is completely totaled, the bumper fell off, the lights are all shattered, there's glass everywhere. Irate, he gets out of his car and begins to yell at the other driver. The other driver peeks out of his window, wearing a bright orange hat....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You're at the mall when a security guard comes up to you.

He (falsely) suspects you of attempted shoplifting.

You try to explain to him that you're not, but he thinks you're getting aggressive and trying to resist arrest.

He pulls out his taser.

What happens next may shock you...

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