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Faints Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man faints in Elevator

A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and see's this HUGE Black guy standing next to him.

The big guy see's the little guy staring at him, looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch cock, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown."

The little guy faints and fall...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man tries to clean his fake eye by licking it, but accidentally swallows it. He goes to the doctor in utter constipation seeking help.

The doctor tells the patient to bend over and cough, and promptly faints.

When he comes to, the nurse asks him what happened. "|'ve looked at quite a few arseholes in my practice" said the doctor, "first time ever an arsehole looked back!".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy's wife faints one day, so he takes her to the hospital.

After a full day of tests on the wife, the doctor approaches the husband wearing a grave expression. He says: "I'm afraid I have some bad news. We know that it's either AIDS or Alzheimer's."

The husband breaks down, and says "Oh my god, what do I do? What do I do?"

The doctor replies: ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nun at a Catholic School was asking her 10 year old students what they wanted to be when they grew up.

"Susie, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Susie said "I want to be a doctor."

"Very nice," the nun said. "Jenny what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Jenny said "I want to be a teacher."

"Excellent answer," the nun replied. "Martha what are you going to be wh...

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2 Smoking Grandmas & 1 Condom

Jane & Arlene are outside the nursing home, having a smoke. A storm blows in and starts sprinkling. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end and puts it over her cigarette and continues smoking.



Arlene: What the hell is that?

Jane: It's a condom. This way my cigarette don'...

Question in a medical board exam - Fill the blank - "When a young female faints, you immediately feel her p - - s - "

Those who answered PULSE are successful doctors today.

Question in Med school exam - Answer the following Question. When a young girl faints, you immediately touch and check her p - - s -

Only the people who answered

P U L S E,

passed the exam

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny was in bible study one morning.

Sally was sleeping in front of johnny.
The teacher asks Sally who our Lord and savior was. Little Johnny pokes her in the ass with a pin and she yells "Jesus Christ!" And falls back to sleep.
A little while later the teacher asks Sally who created our world. Johnny poked her in the ass again w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nun buys a donkey and enters it in a local horse race

Remarkably, the donkey is incredibly quick and manages to win. The local paper reads *Local nun has winning ass*.

She enters it into a second race, and again it wins. The local paper reads *Nun has best ass in town*.

The priest is annoyed by these headlines, but the prize money is seri...

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