A man’s printer started printing more and more faintly, so he called a local repair shop.
A friendly young man informed him, “Well, you could bring it in for a cleaning, but we charge $50 for that, so you might be better off just reading the manual and trying the job yourself.”
Pleasantly surprised by this candor, the man said, “Thanks, son. Does your boss know that you discourage...
Hands shaking, voice trembling, I faintly rasped, "Mom, I'm in the hospital, but don't worry, I'm fine."
After a silence that seemed to go on forever, she replied, "You have to stop this. You've been a doctor for 3 years now."
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Someone I faintly know said to me
"I see you don't cut your hair any longer".
"Of course not you silly twat, I cut it shorter"
Jesus and Moses in Heaven
One beautiful day in Heaven, Jesus and Moses were fishing in a lake. After a while of silence, Jesus asked Moses, "Hey Moses, can you still do it? You know... 'Your thing'?" Moses then answered, "I don't know, let me see if I still got it!"
He then stood up and drew his arms forwards, and the...
A woman seated while flying in economy and holding her baby in her arms, was startled when the man sitting behind her bent forward to say "Ma'am that is one ugly baby you have there!"
The woman, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, was so shocked she could barely retort "Well I ... I never!"
The man continued: "I'm just being honest with you ma'am, I mean, I've seen some ugly babies in my time, but yours is a real showstopper".
Quite overwhelmed, the woman called a fligh...
Soon after the General retired..., he decided he must do something different...
He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank...!
*He soon found himself on an island with no flagstaff, no batmen, no ADC, no club, no canteen, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.*
After about four months,...
I walked into a bar once...
I went into a bar once and ordered a drink from the bartender. He puts down the drink and a side of peanuts. I take a sip of the drink and I hear faintly, "Man, you have great hair!" I was a little freaked out by it, because there isn't anyone in the bar besides me and the bartender, but the bartend...
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