I got funny looks when I gifted a fir tree as a housewarming gift.

I thought it would spruce the place up a bit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man finds a magic lamp from which a genie suddenly pops out...

...the man can not believe what he sees but quickly understands what it means. In excitement, he starts reciting his first wish when the genie cuts him.

"You who saved me from my curse shall receives three wishes as symbol of my gratitude, all though, I should firs-"

"Spare me the det...

I had to fire my carpenter

Turns out he was a mahoganist.

Two big trees are talking in the woods.

One big tree says to the other. “Dear Fir, what do you suppose this little bitty tree is between us? Do you think it’s the son of a beech or the son of a birch?”

“I’m afraid I do not know, kind fir,” says the other tree.

In the meantime a woodpecker lands on the baby tree. The first...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Particular Gardener (OC)

A gardener was starting a new job on a beautiful property, its driveway lined with fir trees, peacocks roaming the grounds, and a beautiful water feature in the middle of the round drive-end in front of what could only be described as a mansion.

As he hopped out of his truck this rather elega...

Three old men

Three old men sitting and fishing.

The firs man says, its windy today.
The second man says, No its thursday today.
The third man says, so am i, lets have a beer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman is having a foursome while her husband is at work

Suddenly however, she hears her husband enter the house.

“Oh shit, here’s my husband! Quick, hide before he sees you!”

The first guy hides in the closet and shuts the doors.

The second guy hides under the bed and pulls down the covers.

The third guy hides on the balcony a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] - A blind man interviews for a job....

...As a quality controller at the local wood mill.


The manager calls the blind man into his office and asks him how he expected to do this job since he was blind.


The blind man replied he would do it by smell. The manager decides to test him and places a piece of wood in front ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two girls die and go to Heaven...

They meet up there, realizing they know each other and are surprised to see the other one dead.

"Wow! What happened to you?" Asks the firs one.

"Hypothermia.. It was soo cold, but after a while I just wanted to sleep and looks like I am never waking up. How about you?"

"Heart at...

Yall know the one with the airplane safety instruction ?

A business man has to go over sees on a business related trip so he has to take a plane for the firs time in his life . He goes through the whole process and boards the plane sitting down . The safety instruction begins and the flight attendant begin to explain " If any of the engines fail , do not...

My cat has been nibbling on the Christmas tree...

Now she's coughing up fir balls.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bear and a rabbit are pooping in the woods..

The bear looks to the rabbit and asks, "hey, do you have a problem with poop sticking to your fir?"
"No, not at all!" the rabbit replied.

So, the bear wipes his butt with the rabbit.

What do trees wear when it gets cold?

A fir coat.

A keyboard walks into a bar

He orders a round of drinks fir everyone. The bartender asks him how he will be paying for the drinks. The keyboard says "just put it on my tab."

Irish Joke

Paddy walks into a chemist ,pulls out a small bottle from his pocket, removes the cork and addresses the pharmacist.
"Wid ye mind tastin that fir me"?
The man takes a swig and screws his face up in disgust. "Thats terrible" he says. "So bitter".
Paddy replies with delight "Oh tats good ne...

I drove into the mountains and saw a crew clearcutting a massive evergreen forest...

I wonder what fir.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did Santa start the Christmas tradition?

Mrs. Clause overheard Santa on the phone:
Santa: “Have you been naughty? ….That actually sounds nice. You can sit on my lap and tell me what you want while those wet stockings dry ….. I want to (come) down your chimney and eat your (cookie). What kind of (toys) should I bring?…. Yes, I’d love to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

general knowledge quiz

Teacher: "Good morning children, each Thursday we're going to have a general knowledge quiz.

The pupil who gets the answer right can have Friday and Monday off and not come back to school until Tuesday."

Wee Jock (a typical Scottish wag) thinks, "Ya dancer. Ah'm pure dead brilliant at ...

A woman visits a tattoo parlor...

A woman visits a tattoo parlor and asks for a nice-sized turkey to be inked on her left inner thigh. The artist thought that was an unusual request, but he did exactly as she wanted.

One week later, the same woman comes in and asks for an evergreen tree to be tattooed on her right inner thig...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.