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Spying Jokes

What do you call a cow spying on another cow?

A steak out

What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?

Lesbionage

If you think a microwave spying on you is bad, just remember

Your vacuum has been gathering dirt on you for years.

Instead of actual serious spying gear, the Chinese used a balloon. Why?

Because of inflation.

Apple had to stop spying on its competitors...

...they had a lack of Intel.

I told my wife the our phones were spying on us.

"Nonsense" she said. I laughed. She laughed. Siri laughed. Alexa laughed.

I always assumed that China has extremely sophisticated spying technology that they use on their rivals.

Well, that balloon has burst.

Three men are in prison in Soviet Russia...

... And they start explaining how they wound up in prison.

The first man says, "I was five minutes late to work, so I was arrested for sabotaging Soviet productivity."

The second man says, "I was five minutes early so I was arrested for espionage, spying on Russian industrial secrets."...

The american spy

Once upon a time, an american spy who was in Russia, after a long career and for unknown reasons he decided he wants to surrender. He goes to the police, in the front office and he says

-Hello, I'm an american spy and I would like to surrender

-Well sir, do you have a gun?

-yes...

Dave: "My Dad says You're spying on us...!"

Zuckerberg: "He's not your dad"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A communist spy and an American spy are camping out in opposite buildings on Moscow.

Each one knows the other is there but thinks the other does not know that they are there. After hours of spying each one decides they need to go out for some fresh air. However, since both would be easily recognized they decide to put on disguises. The Communist, a female, puts on an elaborate mal...

Huawei denies spying accusations

The recently launched model 5PY-2020 sELECT it’s perfectly safe.

As I sat there scratching my ass, and spying on my neighbor washing her beaver, one thing crossed my mind.

We have really weird pets in my neighborhood.

I just caught a gorilla spying on me.

I said “there is no need to pry mate”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Our smart devices are spying on us, and I have proof!

I used my smart camera to take a dick pic, and within an hour the algorithm started sending me targeted ads for army helmets and bean bag chairs.

I'm surprised more people didn't know about the NSA spying programs

I mean most of our computers are labelled "Intel"

People are always worried about their cell phones or microwaves spying on them. Truth is, those are not the appliances you need to be concerned about.

It's your Vacuum Cleaner that you need to be worried about....



....it's been collecting dirt on you for years.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I hear the Chinese like spying on our mobile phones.

At least someone out there will be impressed with the size of my penis.

Harry Potter's invisibility cloak was very effective for spying on the women of Hogwarts

They never saw him coming.

I've heard there is a guy in our block who is spying on his neighbors.

That's nonsense, I would have noticed that long ago.

Studies show that spying on people is good for humanity.

Power to the peep-hole!

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