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Enlistment Jokes

Two Arkansas brothers decide they are going to do their patriotic duty and enlist in the military.

The first recruiter's office they come to is an Air Force recruiter. The two walk inside, and are greeted by the recruiter, " Gentleman, what can I do for you today? He asks.


One of the brothers speaks up. " My name is Darryl, and this is my brother Billy Ray. We would like to join up Sir...

Old Russian joke

A young guy is drafted into the army, he pleads to the Chief Enlistment Officer:

Conscript - I beg you, tell them I'm unfit for duty and I'l give you $1000!

Officer - You're not lying to me are you? Alright, meet me at the cemetery at 2AM with the money.

The conscript arrives th...

My most established grimy joke, From my granddad around the pit fire

An old couple gets pulled over and...
Woman cop - "May I see you permit and enlistment sir?"
Old man - "ugh, what did she say?"
Old spouse - "She needs to see you permit and enlistment dear."
The old man hands it to the woman cop and...
Woman cop - "Gracious, I see you are from N...

With this new Space Force being stood up...

I’ve already been hearing that enlistment bonuses are going to be astronomical.

Army Joke?

I guess this joke is pretty popular in the armed forces, so I apologize if this is a repeat!

So anyways, once there was a guy, let’s call him Steve. So Steve has always had trouble with women. His first wife left him, his second wife passed away, and his third ended up having an affair. Feeli...

Three German artillerymen were on probation for lackluster performance.

To secure continued enlistment in the military, they had to take a test that involved firing an egg out of a cannon, towards their commanding officer. They needed to use the smallest angle necessary to fire the egg in a way that didn't hit their CO.

The first man fired too low and hit the CO...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Grandpa was an amazing man

My grandpa left school and was told by his parents, whom could clearly afford it, that if he wanted to study at university he would need to pay his own way. Well he did exactly that and took a role as a mail boy in a merchant bank.

When WW1 broke he was drafted and fought as a officer in the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teenager was standing in front of a recruiter, about to sign his life away to the Marines.

The recruiter promised him adventure and action, and the teenager was buying it all up. He finished his training (Semper Fi!) and was immediately given his first posting: he was going to Afghanistan. Being an FNG, the Devil Dog worked long and worked hard, but by the end of his tour, he felt he had ...

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