A priest had been very loyal and humble his entire life and began earnestly speaking out loud to God.

He said, "Lord, I've been good and have followed your word, and I expect nothing in return, but if you feel gracious enough, I have a request."
A blinding shiny light appeared before the priest and before him stood God. "What is it I can do for you my child?" He asked terrifyingly.
"God, I've ...

For my first cake day, I would like to share a truly terrible joke I heard from my brother

On the day my friend discovered my reddit account he couldn't believe his eyes. How had I got so much karma? He didn't think it possible. Naturally, for days on end he asked and begged to know. I didn't want the magician to reveal his secrets, so for a while I simply didn't tell him. I thought he wo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In honor of tonight’s Lotto, one of my favorite jokes to tell.

A deeply religious man, whom I will call Dave, finds himself in dire financial trouble. He prays earnestly to his God to help him out of his predicament. "God, I'm about to lose my car. Please help me. Let me win the lottery." Lottery night comes, but sadly, Dave is not the winner.

Things go ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed-off and watched in horror as the ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

Indeed, the ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She then explained that she was a physical therapist and offered to help eas...

Three vampire brothers were standing in a moonlit pasture, having an argument about who was strongest...

The youngest of the three says “You know what? You guys are always underestimating me. I’ll show you what I’m capable of.”

He flies off at 100 miles per hour and comes back 10 minutes later, his mouth dripping with blood. “Do you see that mansion on the hill up there?” he asks.

“ I j...

The Pacific island demigod Chee-sah...

The Pacific island demigod Chee-sah was always depicted in wooden carvings with nothing on from the waist down (except sandals), much to the distress of Christian missionaries who served there. Their urging of the locals to cover the statute’s lower half devolved into piteous begging as they tried t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is walking down the beach,

When he sees a woman with no arms and legs; as he gets closer he can hear her gently sobbing.

"What's wrong ma'am?" He inquired earnestly.

"Well you see, I was born like this, and because of it I've never gotten close to a man, I've never even hugged one."

The man contemplates t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Amish family went to the mall.

(The Amish don't usually go to the mall, but go with me.)

This family consisted of two parents and a son. The father and the son went by themselves to explore, leaving the mother to do whatever it was that she was doing.

The two men encountered an elevator. This was the first time eith...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jim's Birthday Hat

Jim's birthday was coming up, and as much as he enjoyed his birthday, he dreaded the obligations that came with it. Despite his vehement protests, his wife had arranged lunch with the whole family, including his witch of a mother-in-law. But Jim was a good man and said he'd be on his best behaviour....

Warm Milk

In a convent in Ireland , the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying. The
nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable.
They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it.

One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a
bott...

An elderly gentleman goes in for his usual colonoscopy exam....

As he lay on his side on the table, the doctor got ready to do the examination.

As the doctor was going in, he looked at the patient and smiled and said, "Don't worry, it's quite normal to get an erection."

The patient, embarrassed, stated earnestly, "But I haven't got an erection."...

I remembered this joke while studying for exams.

God and st peter decide to do their rounds around a college campus. While looking around the dorms, they see a group of students earnestly studying for their final exams the next day. God looks at St Peter and tells him to fail each one of them. St. Peter is a little bewildered, but he dares not dou...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.