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Do For Jokes

A policeman stops a car... Policeman: “Whose car is this, where are you headed and what do you do for a living?”

Miner: “Mine.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple, both age 76, went to a sex therapist’s office. The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?”

The man said, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?” The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.


When the couple finished, the doctor said, “There’s nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse,” and charged them $80. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appo...

A guy goes to a hooker and asks "What will you do for fifty bucks?"

She replies "Anything."
"Anything?"
"An-y-thing."
"Great" he says. "Here's fifty bucks. Paint my house."

I hate telling people I’m a taxidermist so when they ask, "What do you do for a living?” I reply...

“Oh, you know…stuff!"

What does a mechanic do for a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

A politician visited a remote little rural village and asked the inhabitants what the government could do for them.

“We have two big needs,” said the village headman. “First, we have a hospital but no doctor.”

The politician whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while and then said: “I have sorted it out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?”

“We have no cellphone reception ...

What do you do for a living?

During a blind date, the beautiful blonde girl asked the guy:
- “So what do you do for a living?”
He answered:
- “I hunt and kill aliens”
- “Wow! I thought aliens don’t exist!” She surprisingly responded
- He grinned and said “You are f—-ing welcome”

A blonde is going door to door trying to find some paying work She knocks on one door and an older man opens it up. "Hey mister, do you have any odd jobs I could do for cash?"

He looks her up and down and surmises that she's an idiot whom he can take advantage of.

"I'll give you ten dollars if you paint my porch. There's paint, brushes, ladders and everything you'll need next to the car in the garage."

"Sure, sounds great!"

The man closes the door, ch...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the Attorney do for his client that was charged with Public Masturbation?

He got him off.

What’s a taxidermist do for fun?

Stuff

What do female reindeer do for fun?

Go into town and blow a couple hundred bucks.

I asked a blind date what she wanted to do for the evening...

She made what seemed like a very forward and provocative suggestion. Not one to turn down a lady, I shrugged and tore off her clothes and mine, and we made passionate love that lasted less than 2 minutes.

Afterwards, breathing heavily, she said "That was... Unexpected and amazing. But can we ...

A girl asks a boy "What does your dad do for a living?''

He replies "He's a magician."

She asks "Is he good?"

He says "Yeah, he disappeared 8 years ago."

What do spiders do for a job?

Web development

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do porn stars do for a living?

Nothing, they just fuck around

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do folks in West Virginia do for Halloween?

Pump Kin

[First Date] Her: So what do you do for a hobby?

Him: I collect complete season DVDs of 90s sitcoms.

Her: Do you have Friends?

Him: No.

The other day I was wondering, what did people do for fun before the Internet?

I asked my 12 siblings, and they didn’t know either.

What do schizophrenic Karens do for a living?

They are managers.

Woman are so confusing nowadays. I thought opening the door would be the nice thing to do for a lady,

but she just screamed and flew out the plane.

Miss Joan asks her 3rd grade students what their parents do for a living

Emily happily raises her hand and say : "Daddy's a mechanic and Mommy is a teacher like you !"

Jason then replies : "Well, my dad is a chef and my mom is her accountant"

And so on, every child answers to their best until it is little Billy's turn, who suddenly bursts into tears.
...

What do rednecks do for Halloween?

Pumpkin

The horrible things you will do for money

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "You know, I've done some terrible things for money," he confesses to the bartender. "Like getting up early in the morning to go to work."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mailman is working his last day on a route he's been doing for 20 years

He gets to the first house and a man greets him at the door with a very expensive bottle of wine and thanks him for his service. He arrives at the next house and is greeted by the entire family with a box of Cuban cigars and everyone wishes him a happy retirement.

He arrives at the third hous...

What do taxidermists do for fun?

Oh, you know... Stuff...

What do whales like to do for fun?

Netflix and Krill

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hard working man puts in overtime all week and is so tired all he wants to do for the weekend is sleep.

He comes home friday and plops down on the couch and starts to doze off. His wife comes in, nudges him and says, "Honey my car won't start, will you take a look at it ?" The husband says, "Who do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench ? Take my truck."

He's sound asleep Saturday morning when his wife c...

What do clams do for their birthday?

They shellibrate...

What does my dad do for fun?

Beats me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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