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100 Percent Jokes

My contraceptive method is 100 percent effective.

I just use my personality.

I got 100 percent on my test!!

I was arrested cause apparently you can't drive when you're "drunk"

You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take

-Jenny Mccarthy

I'm 100 percent against

animal cruelty. Nothing makes me sadder than when my dog makes fun of me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teenage boy was delivering papers to an apartment house.

A teenage boy was delivering papers to an apartment house. While there, a stunning young woman came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I actually got to live through a classic joke!

**This is 100 percent true. **

Yesterday I was using electric hedge trimmers on my front bushes. My right hand was holding the safety handle. My left was holding a knob on the front right by the blades. That hand slipped and I reached out to stop it..... And grabbed the blades, still going....

What an answer

A pilot is flying a small single engine plane with a lot of really important execs on board into Seattle airport. There is fog so thick that visibility is 10m, and his instruments are out. He circles looking for a landmark and after an hour, he is low on fuel and his passengers are very nervous. ...

Apparently 30 percent of under-6's in the U.S know how to use an iPad.

Whereas 100 percent of under-6's in China know how to make one.

I named my kids after the place they were conceived

Although I'm almost 100 percent sure Intheass isn't mine.

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