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Did you see the episode of House Hunters with King Henry VII?

He was looking for a Lancaster House with a Tudor garage.

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Grampa was telling us his war stories

Grampa: 'So we were flying back from bombing out Berlin, when suddenly we got caught out by the Germans. My Lancaster got surrounded. There was a Fucker on the left, a Fucker on the right, a Fucker above, and a Fucker below. We thought we were screwed.

Mum: 'Father, would you please not use t...

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A German truck driver is sitting in a Liverpool bar mouthing off about how lazy the British are.

He says 'I drive my truck from Hamburg to Liverpool via Holland/Belgium over to the UK and up to Liverpool, drops his load off and back to Hamburg in under 2 days."

A drunk old scouse man can't help but hear him and mutters 'Fuck off lad, I used to pick my load up in Liverpool, drop it off in...

A German man went to London

While there, he decided to take in the atmosphere of the Great British Pub, and got talking with one of the patrons.

“So, where in Germany are you from?” he asked, after a couple of beers.

“Dresden,” the German man replied.

“Ah, Dresden! My father used to fly there three times a...

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