Dire Straits and Chris Rea are getting together.....

......they are calling themselves Dire Rea.

Did you hear that Dire Straits are opening a cafe?

They take money for muffins, but the chips are free.

Dire Straits are looking for an agent in the Middle East..

They should check out Qatar George...
He knows all the Kurds.

Can someone please check in with Mark Knopfler?

I've heard he's in Dire straits.

Which song does the sperm donor play in repeat?

Dire Straits - Money for Nutting

A blonde and a brunette inherit their family ranch...

A pair of sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherited their family ranch when their parents passed away.

The ranch was in dire straits. To save it, the brunette sister decided to take a risk: she would put all the money in their savings towards buying a bull to repopulate the ranch.
...

At the IRS audit

IRS: According to your tax return you claim got money for nothin' & checks for free.

Taxpayer: Am I in trouble for that?

IRS: We'd say you're in dire straits.

Got Change?

An elderly couple is in financial dire straits. Their pension is running out and things are starting to look desperate.

After several pointless job interviews and attempting to sell some junk from the attic, they reach the sad conclusion that the only hope they have is for the wife to sell h...

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