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Deutsche Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does black people and Deutsche Mark have in common?

Both are outdated currency.

What do you call a mean person in Germany?

A Deutsche-bag

As the old German saying goes:

One's company, two's a Kraut, and three's a Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei.

Angela Merkel visits Greece

Angela Merkel goes on holiday to Greece.

She reaches customs.

Officer: Name?

Merkel: Angela Merkel

Officer: Nationality?

Merkel: Deutsche

Officer: Occupation?

Merkel: Nein, not zis time, just for ze holidays

It was 1940...

...in war time Berlin. An SS Officer had a side line going as an amateur clock maker and repairer. One day a customer walked into his clock repair shop with a mantel clock. The SS Officer said "Vhat can I do for you?" The customer replied. "It's my mantel clock. It's not working properly... if you p...

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