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A reporter walks into a bar

A reporter walks into a bar in a small Louisiana town. He's been sent by his editor in the big city to get a human interest story, and so he walks up to some burly guy in overalls and offers him a drink in return for the story of the best day of his life.

"Best day? Well, that must've been th...

A Tale Of Two Letters

Stalin, knowing that his time was short and that Khrushchev would be his eventual successor, summoned Nikita to a very private meeting. After telling Khrushchev how lonely it could get at the top, Stalin said: "I've left for you two letters containing my wisest counsel in the bottom drawer of the...

Staking a claim

In 1897 a young man set out for adventure from the frontier city of Seattle. He'd risked his entire life savings to make the trek to the Yukon to prospect for gold.

He started his journey full of excitement and hope. he'd purchased his 2,000lbs of gear and supplies and two fine stock horses t...

A genius high school chemistry student takes a test

A genius high school chemistry student takes a test, gets his score back, and is dismayed to find that he missed exactly one question and thus would not be accepted to his University of choice. He is especially bummed because the question he missed was "how many valence electrons does a Hydrogen ato...

Two Irish guys walk into a pet shop

Seamus heads straight over to the back of the shop, knowing what he's looking for, and Finton follows shortly behind.

"Dats dem up der!" Says Seamus, pointing at high up bird cage. "Oi'll tek two a dem budgies up der," He says to the shopkeeper, "an wouldya put em in a pepper bag?"

So...

So a magician on a cruise night has a show every night...

NOTSONINJAEDIT: On a cruise ship***

And every time he performs, an intelligent parrot (deal with it) sits at the back and ruins all his magic tricks by shouting out what the secrets are. When he saws a lady in half, the parrot says that she's crawled up in the other half of the box. When he ...

A philosopher, a biologist, a mathematician and a YouTube celebrity spot a cow in a field whilst on their first trip to Scotland.

Upon discerning the brown colour of the cow’, the philosopher exclaimed ‘Aha! My fellows, you see what knowledge we have garnered? I can hereby assert: cows in Scotland are brown!’

The biologist replied acerbically, ‘Not so fast, my dear friend. It is safe only to assert thus: there are cows ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If I was a rapper, my stage name would be Cold Brock Lee...

Then when people heard my shitty songs they'd say despairingly "Not Cold Brock Lee!"

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