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Dead Sea Jokes

Why are there no sea cucumbers in the dead sea?

Because they're sea pickles!

A tourist drives along the shore of the Dead Sea and spots a fisherman casting his fishing rod into the water.

The tourist, surprised, stops and explains to the fisherman that no fish can live in the Dead Sea.

The fisherman said “Yes, some do.   For $10, you may sit next to me and I will show you.”

The curious tourist paid the $10 and waited patiently. After an hour, the tourist said: “hey, whe...

Yo momma is so old..

The Dead Sea was only sick.

Little Johnny is sitting in Geography class

All of a sudden, he raises his hand

"Yes?" says the teacher

"Sorry teacher, i was wondering, is the Earth really flat?" asks Johnny

The teacher looks at him, visibly anoyed and says "No, it's not. Do you have any more stupid questions?"

"Yes..." says Johnny "How did The ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Adam and Eve

Were in the garden of eden and Adam says to Eve “Hey Eve lets go for a swim!” And Eve says “That sounds wonderful!”

So they start running towards the dead sea and God shouts down “No Eve, no Eve NOOOOooooooo!” And Eve dives into the water!

God says: Awe crap now I will never get th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the ocean say to the pirate?

Nothing he just waved.
”I hate you!” The pirate scream.
”You shore about that?” the ocean replied.
”I will kill you!” he screamed again.
”Don’t be a beach about it” he got as an answer
”Fucking idiot!” The pirate said.
”Woah! Easy there, we aren’t in the Dead Sea!”

Me and my wife of 20 years bought a waterbed last year.

I call it The Dead Sea.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Old Ladies

There were once two old Jewish ladies on a vacation in Israel. They are floating together out in the dead sea when one says to the other, "want a smoke?"

She replies, "Here? How?" The first lady reaches in to her bathing suit and pulls out a balloon with two cigarettes and a lighter in it. Th...

Do you know how old I am?

I'm so old that I was around when the Dead Sea was just sick. (Told to me by my grandfather)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two kids talking about their dads achievements

Kid1: have you heard of panama canal?


Kid2: yes.


Kid1: you know my dad dug it.


Kid2: ok, thats it. Have you heard about the dead sea?


Kid1: yes


Kid2: My dad killed it.

There was a fire at Sea World.

Over the intercom, everyone was told to calmly make their way to the exits.
Some staff stayed behind to secure the animals and maybe stop the blaze.
The Pool Manager noticed Timmy was at the entrance of the building with the fire.
He saw Timmy was throwing dead seals across the doorway.
...

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