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Coors Jokes

The CEOs of Budweiser, Coors, Killian's, and Guinness walk into a bar....

...and the bartender takes orders. The CEO of Budweiser says "I'll take a Bud Light. It's crisp, refreshing, and doesn't hurt the budget!"

The bartender moves down the line. The CEO of Coors says "I'll take a Coors light. It's colder, even more refreshing, and won't give you a beer gut!" ...

A joke I heard at mass

A priest is baptizing a man. He dips him 3 times in water and says "Craig, from now on you will be known as Michael. From this day forth you are to shed your sinful ways and that includes no more gambling or alcohol"

The man later that day goes home and heads straight for the fridge. He then...

the heads of Coors, Budweiser and Guinness go to lunch.

So, the heads of Coors, Budweiser and Guinness are all sitting in a restaurant. When the waitress comes over she takes their drinks order first

- 'Ill have a silver bullet' says the Coors guy
- 'Ill have the king of beers' says the Budweiser guy
- 'Lemonade please' says the head of Guin...

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Redneck vasectomy

After the birth of their 9th child, a redneck couple decided they'd had enough because they couldn’t afford a larger bed. The husband went to the veterinarian and asked to be snipped. "Me'n my cousin don't want no more kids"

The vet told him he could get a vasectomy, but it was expensive. "Th...

4 beer company CEOs walk into a bar

The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud Light.

The CEO of Miller orders a Miller Light.

The CEO of Coors orders a Coors Light.

The CEO of Guinness orders a Coke.

The first three ask the CEO of Guinness why he didn't order a Guinness, to which he replied:

"I figured if yo...

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Drinking Coors Light is a lot like oral sex.

The first few seconds always taste like piss.

Can werewolves drink Coors Light?

Idk if they can because it’s the silver bullet.

The Coors Brewery in Golden, Colorado has caught fire.

Thank God they have nothing but water there to put it out with.

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What do sex in a canoe and Coors Light have in common?

They’re both fucking close to water!

After the Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.

The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender...

The CEOs of Miller, Budweiser, Cours, and Guinness walk into a bar

The CEO of Miller says to the bartender, "I want the best beer you have, a Miller Lite."

"Oh no," says the Budweiser CEO. "Your head is on backwards. Me, I'll have the king of beers, a Budweiser."

"I'll have the only beer brewed with Rocky Mountain spring water," chimes in the Coors C...

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What is the difference between Coors beer and a

... clitoris?

A clitoris only tastes like piss for a second.

Arthur Guinness

The leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink. The president of Budweiser orders a bud, the Ceo of Miller gets a Miller, the head of coors orders a coors, and so on. Until it's Arthur Guinness's turn, he orders a soda. "Why didn't you order a Guinness?" everyone asks. "Nah" Guinness replies...

Beer convention

There's a beer convention in town, and all the CEOs from all the beer companes are there. During a break between seminars, a few of them went down to the hotel bar for a drink.

The Anheuser Busch CEO says to the bartender, "I'll have a Budweiser, the King of Beers," and he takes his drink and...

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I went into my local bar, and asked if they had any 'Coors Light'

The waitress replied:

*"No, but we have a stray cat out back if you want to drink it's piss"*

Another Irish joke involving beer

While attending the World Beer Conference, the CEOs of Anhueser-Busch, Coors, and Guiness went out to eat together. When the waitress asked them what they would like to drink, the CEO of Anhueser-Busch replied, "Get me a Budweiser, the king of beers!" Not to be outdone, the Coors CEO told her, "I wa...

Only Beer drinkers would understand

In Amsterdam, a world wide convention of brewers was held.

The presidents of many of the world’s greatest breweries were on hand, and many of them decided to go out for dinner together on the first evening.
The waiter asked what they would like to drink, and the CEO of Miller said, “The Be...

A giraffe walks into a bar

A giraffe walks into a bar and orders a bottle of Coors Light. "Long neck?" the bartender asks. "Some say so," the giraffe replies.

There's a big conference of beer producers. At the end of the day, all of the presidents of all beer companies decide to have a drink in a bar.

The president of 'Budweiser' orders a Bud, the president of 'Miller' orders a Miller Lite, Adolph Coors orders a Coors, and the list goes on. Then the waitress asks Arthur Guinness what he wants to drink, and much to everybody's amazement, Mr. Guinness orders a Coke!

"Why don't you order a G...

A prist, a minister and a youth pastor are standing by the side of a road, holding up a sign.

The sign reads "The End Is Near! Turn Back Before It's Too Late!"

Well, along comes a redneck, driving a jacked-up pickup truck and swiggin' a Coors Lite.

He screeches to a halt before the three men of the cloth, surveys their sign for a moment, and bursts into uncontrollable guffaws....

My first drink with my son

I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first drink.
Off we went to our local bar, which is only two blocks from the house.
I got him a Miller Genuine. He didn't like it – so I drank it.
Then I got ...

James Dean had a tiring day at work

James Dean had a long and tiring day at work, so he decided to stop at a pub on the way home. He ordered a pint of Coors Light and some whiskey. Before the drinks were poured he changed his mind - instead of the pint he asked for a can of Red Bull. He was getting a Red Bull without a Coors!

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Switching it up

A gorgeous blond walks into a bar and orders 3 Budweisers. She drinks them and get gets so slammed she screws the bartender and both customers in the bar. The next day she comes back and orders 3 Budweisers, get drunk and screws all 10 customers. The next day 35 men are waiting for her to show up. S...

A hungover man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink of anything other than Coors Light...

Bartender: "What's wrong with Coors Light? It is one of the most popular beers."

Man: "Nothing wrong with it, but I drank 24 of them last night and I ended up blowing chunks."

Bartender: "It happens to the best of us, if you drink 24 of any drink you'd probably end up blowi...

What do you call the most interesting virus in the world?

The dosequis virus.

No but seriously - let's move pabst the jokes.

Wash your hands frequently; of coors stay home if you're sick; and last, but not least, budweiser.

I'm thinking of starting a fashion line for alcoholics.. I guess I'll just call it..

Michael Coors Light

My uncle has ordered the same American beer at the bar for 9 years now

I must say, that’s a commitment to the coors.

What do you call beer that is turned into urine?

Of Coors

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An Irishman's first drink with his son

I was watching that American TV show "Modern Family" and it got me thinking about the time I took my son out for his first drink.



We went down the street to the local pub, only a couple of blocks away.



I got him a Guinness Stout. He didn't like it, so I drank it.
...

Stevie Wonder walked into a bar

He asked the bartender if he could get a Coors light.

Bartender: Sure buddy, I’m a big fan, why don’t you try our new beer that we’ve had imported from Berlin?

Stevie: oh I’m not sure, I have this thing about not drinking German beer

Bartender: SUPERSTITION AINT THE WAYYY!

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It was the first day of my holiday, and I saw the most beautiful barmaid at the hotel's beach bar.

So I sat at the bar counter and beckoned her over.
"What can I get for you?" she asked seductively.
"Well, I'm on holiday and I fancy something *exotic*", I said with a wink. "How about a cocktail?"
I pointed one out from the menu and a couple of minutes later, she came back and hande...

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An American, a Mexican, and a Russian...

...are all sitting around drinking. The Russian, drinking a bottle of vodka, finishes it and then throws it up in the air and pulls out a gun and shoots it.

The Mexican says, "Why did you do that holmes?"

The Russian responds, "In my country we have a lot of those."

The Mexican,...

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A Californian, a Texan, and a Coloradan are sitting at a bar...

The Californian drinks half his bottle of wine before throwing it up in the air and shooting the bottle.

"What was that for??" The bartender asks.

"I'm from California," The Californian replies, "We've got plenty of wine"

"Fair enough," says the bartender and he goes about his w...

Some bar jokes

A snail crawls into a bar. The bartender says we don't serve your kind and tosses the snail out on the curb. 3 years later same snail crawls in and says "What the hell dude"

A Welsh, Englishman and Scot go into a bar and order 3 beers. Each of their glasses has a fly in it. The Englishman to...

Guy comes into my bar and wants any beer but a stinkin Budweiser.

So I pour him a Coors light.
He slams it down and says
"Hey barkeep! Gimmie another beer, as long as it ain't one of them stinkin Budweisers!"
So I pour him a Lone Star and he slams it back like the previous pint. "Hey barkeep! Gimmie another beer, as long as it ain't one of those stinkin...

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The Hillbilly Vasectomy

After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, but they could not afford a larger bed.

So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasect...

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