UPJOKE
hurryrunoutflowflowrinrivuletscurrysprintoutrunsquitsprerunrunholderinrunautorunrunathon

Run In Jokes

If you run in front of a car you'll get tired...

But if you run behind the car you'll get exhausted

Alcoholism doesn’t run in my family

It drives

Chuck Norris hit the longest home run in MLB history

He also caught that ball

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole.

If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.

Did you know it's impossible to run in a campground?

You can only ran, it's past tents.

Well...I just found out you can’t run in campgrounds...

You have to RAN.....because it's.......past tents. BWAHAHAHAHA

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do Alcoholics run in your family?

No, but they stumble around the break shit.

Before they drink they are pensive, but when they are drunk and break shit they are ex-pensive

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Running in the Nude

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work.
One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror,
she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. 'Oh my God - Hurry, !
Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early,' !
'I can...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bill and Joe hadn't seen each other in a long time and run in to each other in town.

After greetings and handshakes, Joe says to Bill, "you look like you've lost a lot of weight, have you been sick?

Bill "yes, I have terrible allergies, and every time I sneeze, I ejaculate."

Joe "Oh no, what do you take for that?"

Bill "ragweed!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two friends, Sarah and Kate, who haven't met in a while, run into each other.

Sarah: You know, my boyfriend bought me a Mercedes two weeks ago.

Kate: Amazing!

Sarah: And yesterday, he gave me a pearl necklace.

Kate: Amazing!

Sarah: And in a month, we are going on a three-week-long vacation on Hawaii.

Kate: Amazing!

Sarah: Thanks. But,...

Waking up after three years in a coma, a man decided to run in a marathon.

He didn’t win, but he still got atrophy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had a run in with an officer...

Officer: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"

Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."

Officer: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you see two lights in the distance. What is this?"

Me: "A car."

...

Obesity doesn't actually run in the family.

If they ran, they wouldn't be fat.

Why did the block of cheese run in the US presidential election?

Because he wanted to make America grate again.

Insanity Does Not Run In My Family

It Strolls Through Taking Its Time Getting To Know Everyone Personally.

Why do dogs run in circles?

It’s too hard to run in squares

Why don't pot smokers run in weighted clothing?

It's bad for your joints.

It was Halloween and these two guys had a run in with some ghosties and ghoulies.

The lucky one was grabbed by the ghosties.

Bad puns run in the family...

I guess they're he**reddit**ary

What is a White Supremacist’s favorite race to run in?

The 3K!

I don't agree with what these people say. Obesity doesn't run in the family.

The problem is, nobody runs in the family.

I'm appalled that the quadriplegic society won't allow me to run in their presidential election

I won't stand for it!

Alcoholism doesn't run in my family.

It walks.

You spill less beer that way.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.