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College Girl Jokes

A college girl really wants to buy a monkey...

A college girl really wants to buy a monkey, but she knows her dad will not send the money for such a pet. So she emails her dad and asks for money to buy a bicycle.

He sends the money, and she buys the cute little monkey. After about a week, she notices that clumps of hair are falling out of...

College girl visits the doctor for an exam...

Doctor: "Take off your blouse and bra."

So the girl complies and there is imprint of a T on her chest.

Doctor says: "What caused this?"

Girl: "Well my boyfriend goes to Texas University and likes to wear his letter jacket when we make love."

Doctor: "Ok you're finished, ...

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Two college girls are moving into their dorm

One girl is from Georgia and one is from Connecticut and she is with her mother.

The girl from Georgia walks up and says, “hey, where y’all from?”

Connecticut girl: “Where we’re from, you don’t end a sentence with a preposition,” she laughs.

The girl from Georgia responds: “Oh...

Four college girls went to take a career placement exam...

The examiner told them there is only one question - just unscramble the letters in a word. So they looked at the word and after a moment one girl said "I know what that says! It says SPINE!" "Congratulations!" said the examiner. "You will be a doctor." The other three girls examine the word some mor...

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Three college girls went to a sushi restaurant

After having a few drinks, the first girl said "I just ate 3 dozens of fish" after eating a fish egg sushi.

The girl beside her heard it and responded "That would mean I ate three to four chickens" while staring at her remaining Tamagoyaki (Japanese egg roll).

The third girl burped an...

A college girl was found dead in her bathtub...

She decided to take a bath after a long day of testing. Unbeknownst to her, her roommate had a fetish of putting a 9-volt battery in the bath to give herself a small electric shock.

This time, however, she left it in the tub. The college girl decided she wanted to put some soothing bath salts...

Went with a college girl back to her dormitory...

...I asked if she liked anagrams, and she replied “yes”.

I told her “did you know dormitory is an anagram for ‘dirty room’?”

And when we walked in, her place was a mess.

Two college girls went skinny dipping in a pond

Suddenly a farmer comes over with a bucket and they scream and cover themselves.

"What are you doing, you pervert?!" One of them shouts.

The farmer then pours the bucket of fish into the water.

"Oh don't worry, I'm just here to feed the alligators,"

As a college girl, I never understood the whole Sorority thing

It's all Greek to me

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(NSFW) A 90-year old man walks into a church confessional...

'Father,' he says, 'I'm 90 years old...been married for 70 years. Yesterday two college girls picked me up at the store. We drove to a motel and I fucked them both!'
'And are you remorseful?' asks the priest.
'Hell no.'
'So then what do you think of these sins?' the priest asks.
'What si...

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This cute college girl won't date me because of my braces

fucking bracist.

Why do failing college girls always screw their professors?

Cause they want the D.

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A college girl was desperate to pass a poetry class for which she was almost failing...

For the final exam, the professor announced the challenge of the year: he wanted the students to write something confident. Philosophical. Something that really meant "no worries."

Everyone went home and stayed up all night writing their final exam poetry, the girl including.

The next ...

My girlfriend woke up and said “I’m mad at you! I just had a dream that you were hitting on college girls!”

I could tell she was really upset so I hugged her, then looked in her eyes and said “Oh sweetheart you have nothing to worry about...I don’t dig smart chicks”

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Two months ago, while I was leaving Wal-Mart, I got totally scammed.

These two gorgeous college girls, wearing nothing but bikini tops and mini-shorts, started washing my car just as I was about to leave the parking lot. When they were finished, I asked them, "How much should I pay you?" One of the two girls said, "We don't accept payment in money. We accept payment ...

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College pregnancy

A college girls rushes to the hospital. Her water has just broke and she is now in labour. As she begins to push, the doctor asks if the father should be present. She answers “I’m not really sure who the father is. You see, I was having a hard time paying for my college tuition. To make some quick c...

Louder!

A redneck is walking on the beach. He comes across two beautiful college girls.

The redneck says, "Hey, where y'all from?"

The two girls reply, "Yale."

The redneck then yells, "HEY, WHERE Y'ALL FROM!?"

Quick thinking

Stan was a farmer in Florida. When he retired, he spent some time cleaning up one of the ponds on his farm. He brought in some picnic tables, put in a horseshoes court, and planted some fruit trees. It was a lovely spot for family gatherings and what have you and Stan took great care of it. One...

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NSFW the grossest joke I’ve ever heard

College girl is home for the weekend and asks her Dad “hey, can I use the car tonight?”

He says no, and reminds her that the last time she borrowed it she didn’t put any gas in and she scuffed the bumper. Despite her pleas and promises, the Dad steadfastly refuses to lend her the car. Since s...

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A rottweiler, a poodle, and a german shepherd are sitting at the vet...

The German shepherd turns to the poodle. "So, why are you here?"

The poodle hangs his head. "My master left me in the house for a whole day, so I couldn't help it, I had to go on the floor! He's kind of a prick, so he's putting me down."

The two other dogs shake their heads. The poodl...

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