UPJOKE
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A good woman is like a coat of paint,

you should give it some time before you put your fingers in it.

The preacher and the painters

A preacher noticed that his church was beginning to look somewhat dingy and could use a new coat of paint.  He asked for bids from several local outfits and selected a two-man firm which had given him the best price.

On the appointed day, the crew arrived.  Setting up their ...

Little Johnny was good door to door asking his neighbors if they needed any yard work done.

When he got to old man Johnson’s house the old man said “My yard doesn’t need any work, but my porch is in need of a coat of paint. I’ll pay you 50 bucks, and if you finish by sundown I’ll throw in a 50 dollar bonus”.

With a confused look on his face little Johnny accepted the offer and got t...

I can use some help with some painting . . .

A man looking for food and shelter comes upon a cozy house on a nice, small farm.

When the farmer answers the door, the man asks him, “Can you spare me something to eat? I haven’t eaten in several days and I'm not picky.”

The farmer says, “I never give anything away for free. I can giv...

So a blonde is looking for some work...

So a blonde is looking for some work and is going door to door to see if there is any small chores she can do for money. She goes up to this large house with a nice car in the driveway but a rather old and rickety looking porch that went all the way around the house. She walked up the stairs and rou...

Man: Dude my wife just crashed my mustang!

Friend: OMG is she okay??

Man: Well she may need some buffering and new coat of paint but she should be alright.

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