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I'm devastated. I just had a look at my doctor's notes and he's written that after my accident, I'll never be able to wank again.

Edit: False alarm! I asked him about it and he chuckled about the whole "doctors have bad handwriting" cliche. It's meant to say walk. What a relief!

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Why is a clitoris like a cliche ?

They both roll off your tongue 😋

Professing your love for a girl during intercourse is cliche.

You need to think outside the box.

The Interview

An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of rsums he found four people who were equally qualified. An American, an Indian, a European and a Nigerian.He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answers w...

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It’s 2015. Bill Clinton is whipping up celebrity endorsements for Hillary with a Halloween party. He invites his friend, Arnold Schwarzenegger and suggests they go as dead presidents for the media. “Too cliche” says Arnie. “What about dead musicians.” “Great idea. I’ll be Coltrane. What about you?”

“I’ll be Bach.”

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In honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day

Here's my favorite pirate joke:

When I was 17, I went on a class trip to a beach but I snuck away to explore on my own. I went into this bar. It had nautical stuff on the wall, a bunch of shark jaws, but also streamers and balloons about the place. It looked like there was a party going on. ...

The Genie and the Demon

Three men are out walking in the woods one day, when they stumble upon an old bronze lamp. Naturally, having spent much of their lives reading internet jokes, their first inclination is to rub the lamp and excitedly greet the genie that emerges.

"You have freed me from my near-eternal captivi...

Knock Knock

Home owner: "Who's there?"

Knocker person: "Doctor"

Home owner: "Doctor Who?"

Knocker person: well this is bloody cliche isn't it?

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Some good tips for your English class.

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It...

"The truth shall set you free" I tell my kids.

Then they usually reply "c'mon dad that's so tacky and cliche"

And then I laugh trying to get them to laugh

Then they start laughing

Then I laugh even more!

Thetruth is the pass word to their cages!

Bahahahaha!

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I finally had an IRL date with a Redditor on Saturday night

Things went great and we were actually physically attracted to each other. She invited me back to her apartment for a drink. One thing led to another, and we ended up in bed.

She liked when I nibbled on her, and although it sounds cliched, she ended up saying, "Hurt me! Hurt me!"

...

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