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Chris Hemsworth Jokes

What do Chris Hemsworth and Mike Tyson have in common after a workout?

They're both Thor.

I TRIED Chris Hemsworth’s workout regimen.

It works. I was really Thor for theveral days..

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How does Chris Hemsworth get girls ready for sex?

Thorplay

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chris Hemsworth goes to a bar

He spots a nice looking lady and gets chatting to her, she happens to have dental braces which affects her speech only slightly.
He asks her “Could I buy you a drink?”
She replies “If you mutht”
They chat and drink into the early hours.
Chris then says “I have a room at the Radisson do...

My girlfriend said her free pass is Chris Hemsworth.

I told her my free pass is much more realistic and she should change her pick. She even agreed with me.

So I don't know why she got so mad when I said mine is her sister.

What happens when you put Chris Pine, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Reeve, Chris Pratt and Chris Evans in the same room?

A Chrisis

How does Chris Hemsworth feel after a workout?

Thor


Bonus joke.

How does Tom Hiddleston walk around in public?

Loki



I'll see myself out.

Chris Hemsworth arranged a party for Tom Hiddleston's birthday that not many people knew about.

It was a Loki event.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm surprised anyone's shocked by Natalie Portman's character development in Love & Thunder.

If I was fucked by Chris Hemsworth I'd be pretty thor too.

You're never gonna believe this

I was just taking a walk, minding my own business, when a gorgeous woman looked in my direction and screamed, "You're so hot! I love you!!"

You can ask Chris Hemsworth, he was standing right next to me!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Every time my wife and I watch Thor she takes a abnormally long shower afterwards.

I have no idea what she is doing in there but it gives me more time to masturbate to Chris Hemsworth.

A guy and his wife made a list of people they are allowed to sleep with if they ever get the opportunity..

She picks Brad Pitt, Chris Hemsworth, David Beckham, Channing Tatum and Bradley Cooper.

He picks her sister, her cousin, her best friend, their next door neighbor and there son's third grade teacher.

Men are simple like that.

Thor went out to an Asgardian bar one night...

And he meets this beautiful woman. They go home and spend the night with each other. The next morning when they wake up Thor says "You know I must tell you... I am Thor." The woman replies "You're Thor? I can hardly walk."


Stolen from Chris Hemsworth on The Graham Norton Show

A child who is critically ill is taken under the Make-A-Wish foundation

Her first wish is to meet Captain America and Thor so Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth arrive at the hospital.

After a long meeting session, the two of them ask her what her next wish is.

"I want to meet Iron Man now"

Jeff was a prolific name dropper and his mate Jack had had enough.

“Surely you don’t know every person you mention,” he said.

“Sure do,” replied Jeff. “I know them all.”

Wanting proof, Jack wagered Jeff that he could find someone he didn’t know, a bet that Jeff accepted. They jumped on a plane and flew to Marvel Studios.

“OK,” said Jack, ...

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