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Chicken Breast Jokes

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Do you know why chicken breasts are so meaty?

They are always working on their pecks.

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Chinese lady buying chicken breasts

A Chinese lady who didn't know how to speak English went out to buy chicken breasts. With great difficulty and finally resorting to actions she managed to buy the chicken breasts.
The next day she went out to buy a dozen bananas and to make it easy for her, she took her husband along.

He k...

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A mail order bride and the butcher . . .

A rich, American man had bad luck with women and finally decided to find a mail order bride from Russia. She arrived a few weeks after his order was made, and they got married and lived happily in a rich Connecticut suburb.

Though the poor lady was not very proficient in English, she did mana...

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Why don’t chicken breasts have nipples?

They would tear the packaging while in the freezer.

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A trick to baking tender chicken breasts is to beat the meat until it's soften.

Dudes: Beat mine a few minutes ago but the chicken is still as hard as a rubber!

Why did the rooster hide the menu from his wife?

He was looking at Chicken breast.

A woman didn't know how to speak Spanish but was married to a Spanish man and together, they resided in Spain.

Once she went to the market to buy some chicken legs. She lifted her skirt a little and pointed to her legs so that the shopkeeper is able to understand her.

Another time, she had to buy chicken breast so she pointed to her bosom so that the shopkeeper is able to understand her

Once s...

The Mathematician and the Waiter

A mathematician and his partner go to a restaurant one Sunday lunchtime. The waiter comes over and takes the mathematician's order: -

'I'd like one chicken breast, 10 roast potatoes, 100 baby carrots and 1,000 peas, please' he requests.

'Why sir!' Exclaimed the waiter. 'That's an order...

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A man wants to buy some meat at his local Deli

A man walks in to Simpsons Deli and asks the butcher, "Do you have any deals going on right now?"

The butcher replies, "Sure we do! You can get 20 Chicken Breasts for $40, a full cow for $500, or half the meat for $499!"

The man scratches head in confusion and gets angry at the butcher...

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My local grocery store was robbed of almost $10,000

the thieves managed to get away with two containers of lysol wipes, four bottles of hand sanitizer and a package of chicken breasts.

A man is at the checkout at the supermarket.

A man is at the checkout at the supermarket. He gives the cashier his groceries. 1 chicken breast, 1 potato, 1 carrot, 1 tomato, 1 bread roll, and 1 beer.

The cashier asks "are you single?"

He says "yes, how did you know?"

She replies "you are really ugly!"

Vegan cooking instructions

How regular people read cooking instructions: dip the chicken breast in whisked egg.

How vegans read cooking instructions: dip the flayed carcass of the mother in the embryonic fluid of the child.

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A kid'a parents didn't want him to learn bad words...

*English isn't my first language so tell me if there are any mistakes*

So one day the father was taking the kid to the mall for a haircut, they walk out the door and the father suddenly remembers he forgot his keys.

He forgets him and his SO's idea and says "Shit! I forgot my keys" th...

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