Second Base Jokes

Baseball wasn’t invented back then.

That's a double on Tandra.

Wanting to get a feel for it, he goes alone and sees a horse near the dugout that seems to be wearing the hat and jersey of the opposing team he'll be playing against the next day. Surprised, he laughs and wonders if this is supposed the opposing team's mascot. He approaches the horse to pet it.
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It’s their third date and the guy is really excited to take things to the next level, but they’re both clearly kind of shy about it. So after they park, he asks if she wants to make out. She agrees enthusiastically, and they start kissing.

After a little bit, he pauses and says “hey, do you w... read more

Now Billy you know Tommy doesn’t have arm or legs.

I know. We want to use him as second base.

Billy goes by Jimmy's house to get him to play baseball. Jimmy's mom answers the door.

"Hi, can Jimmy play baseball with us?" Billy asked.

"Now you know Jimmy doesn't have any arms or legs," Jimmy's mom answered.

"Yeah, but we need second base."

It's coming up to little Mikey's 5th birthday and his dad asks him what he'd like as a present. "TRACTOR" says Mikey. Makes sense, thinks his dad, kids love tractors. So he buys him a little toy tractor and Mikey is over the moon, takes the little tractor with him everywhere.

Coming up to Mik... read more

When he thinks, "hey things are going my way quickly, so screw second base, I'm going for third."

He tries, but the girl backs off, and she says "wow, that's a little presumptuous don't you think?"

The man replies "Presumptuous? That's a pretty big word for an 8-year-old..."

A bunch of boys knock on a door and when a woman answers they ask her, "Can Johnny come out and play baseball with us?"

The woman says, "You boys know Johnny doesn't have any arms and legs."

"We know," they say, "we just wand to use him for second base."