Why couldn’t T-Rex get to second base?

Baseball wasn’t invented back then.

I was playing baseball with my friend Tandra and she was pitching. I hit the ball straight into left field and made it to second base.

That's a double on Tandra.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between rearranging your schedule and getting to second base with an ex-girlfriend?

One is playing with your priorities, the other is playing with prior titties!

Mrs. Jones, can Tommy come out and play?

Now Billy you know Tommy doesn’t have arm or legs.

I know. We want to use him as second base.

Billy wants Jimmy to play baseball.

Billy goes by Jimmy's house to get him to play baseball. Jimmy's mom answers the door.

"Hi, can Jimmy play baseball with us?" Billy asked.

"Now you know Jimmy doesn't have any arms or legs," Jimmy's mom answered.

"Yeah, but we need second base."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My sex life is like my baseball career

I've never made it to second base

A guy is making out with a girl and things are going well...

When he thinks, "hey things are going my way quickly, so screw second base, I'm going for third."

He tries, but the girl backs off, and she says "wow, that's a little presumptuous don't you think?"

The man replies "Presumptuous? That's a pretty big word for an 8-year-old..."

I used to date a girl that played softball...

She dumped me because I wouldn't go to second base.

An Awful Joke I Heard as a Kid.

A bunch of boys knock on a door and when a woman answers they ask her, "Can Johnny come out and play baseball with us?"

The woman says, "You boys know Johnny doesn't have any arms and legs."

"We know," they say, "we just wand to use him for second base."

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