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Bloomed Jokes

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Friends intervened to get a guy married who was spending way too much time and money on hookers. They set him up with a sweet gal and sure enough love bloomed, bells rang and off they went on their honeymoon.

His buddies jumped on him soon as they got back.
"So how was it? Better than shagging pros right? Come on tell us."
He looked pensive.
"Come on!"
"Well, the sex was great the first night. We pretty much knocked each other out."
"Told ya!"
"But I screwed up. Before nodding off, out ...

There was this musician in North Korea…

One day he was called upon Kim Jong-Un himself to compose a piece of music and have the great North Korean orchestra play it to him in the humble auditorium.

The man, not wanting to displease the Great Leader, did as he asked.
The big night arrived with the musician stood at the fron...

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Hugh the Blacksmith

So there are three friars living atop a mountain, and they tend to the most beautiful garden in all the land.

One day, one of the friars decides he could make a flower one hundred times prettier than all the other flowers in the garden, if only he could cross-breed a few that he had already.<...

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A caterpillar is looking at a flower bud [NSFW]

On the lowest branch of a tree, there is a caterpillar looking at a bud. Hungrily, it says: "I'll be damned if don't eat this bud. But I'll wait until it has bloomed so that I can go and fill my belly !!" and then it waits patiently for the bud to bloom.
Higher on that tree, a sparrow is looking...

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A young boy wanted to become a farmer.

A young boy wanted to become a farmer. An established farm owner took the boy under his wing to teach him all that he knew. Once the boy finished his initial training, the owner gave the boy a very special seed.

“You must work hard, boy. If you water and fertilize this seed, and make sure ...

Hugh The Legendary Hero.

One day up in the mountains a group of monks began planting flowers. They toiled away but nothing ever grew. Frustration got the most of them and one monk was killed over the flowers, and to everyone's surprise the flowers bloomed.

Now knowing what they needed was blood the monks began killi...

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Topical Jokes (5/14)

Folks, folks. What a day! There are some good jokes out there to be had. Let's take a gander, shall we?

There's already some news out of the presidential election front...

Some are reporting Gov. Christie is losing weight just so he can make a run in 2016. Not to be outdone, Sen. Rubio...

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