Bells Jokes

Because their horns don’t work!!

A homeless man with no arms walked into the small quaint village. He stopped at the local church because he heard they had a job available.

The priest told him they were looking for a person to ring the bells, but from the homeless man’s lack of arms he would not be considered.

T... read more

Because their horns don’t work.

(From my 6yo who loves her new joke book.)

Because their horns don’t work.



(I can’t imagine this isn’t a repost, so delete if need be)

He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.
... read more

Taco bell.

Several people apply and the minister decides to have auditions to see who rings the bell the best. The last applicant comes in and the minister immediately notices that he has no arms.

"Tell me, son, how do you intend to ring the bell with your disability?"

"It's no problem," the app... read more

It was the first time the people of Paris heard a hunchback wail.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'
The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.
'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Pe... read more

Dashing through the snow, on a pair of broken skis


Over the hills we go, crashing into trees!


The snow is turning red, I think I might be dead,


I woke up in the hospital with stitches in my head, oh!


9-1-1, 9-1-1, Santa Claus is dead!


... read more

A Jamaican fireman came home from work, one day and said to his wife,
"Y'know sumptin womon, we have a wonderful new system at de fire station.

Bell 1 rings - we put on our jackets.
Bell 2 rings - we slide down de pole.
Bell 3 rings - we jump on de ingine and we's ready to go.
... read more

They said he jingled all the way.

BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG!

A maid wanted a salary raise. Madam
wanted 3 reasons why she wanted a raise.
Maid: I can cook Better than you.
Madam: Who told you that?
Maid: Your husband told me.
Madam: OK, second reason?
Maid: I can iron better than you.
Madam: Who told you that?
Maid: Your husband told m... read more

A priest stands alone in his church. It is a beautiful old church with a great tall bell tower. Suddenly, the front doors of the church open and a hobbled old man walks in. He is barely able to walk and his back is so hunched he can barely look up at the priest. The old man walks up to the priest an... read more

All of the nuns died instantly, and find themselves standing in front of the Pearly Gates, where St Peter is waiting for them.

He said to the nuns, "Before I can let you in to heaven you each have to answer a question."

To the first nun, St Peter asks "Where did Adam meet the first wo... read more

She's in for a rude awakening.