This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men are walking through the woods when they find an old, battered lamp.

One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a genie.

"After all these years, I'm finally free!" the genie booms. "You know what, it's been so long that I'll make an exception and grant each one of you 3 wishes."

The first guy immediately blurts out, "I want a billion dollars!" In a ...

What’s the difference between a church bell and a politician?

I church bell peals from the steeple.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Headaches.

A man strides into a bar, grinning from ear to ear. He sets down at the bar and orders a beer. "In fact, make that a round on me."

The bar cheers, and the bartender brings him his drink, he asks, "So, why the celebration?"

"I am reinventing myself! A new man! Just a month ago, I was m...

On a hot summer day, a woman has a hankering for a hotdog.

She walks to the nearest hotdog stand and gets in line. Looking up to the front of the queue, she sees an elderly gentleman ordering a bratwurst. He picks up the ketchup bottle, glances at it, and gives a hearty chuckle before slathering his brat in ketchup.

Puzzled, the woman watches as the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A talented frog

A woman is sitting at a hotel bar having a martini when a man comes and sits on the stool next to her. He offers to buy her a drink, which she politely declines. After a couple of awkward minutes, the man reaches into his suit pocket and pulls out a box and puts it on the bar without saying anythi...

Mike was a man who lived by himself

Though not exactly rich, he did well by himself, and worked hard and well at his job. One day, he received news that it looked like his business was going to be shut down. Mike worried about it, working harder, but his job closed just the same and, after a month out of work, he was low on finances...

An old man is sitting on a park bench

Next to him is a large salt shaker and a bag filled with a bunch of bananas. Periodically the old man takes out a banana, carefully peals it, salts it with the shaker, grimaces, then throws it away in a nearby trashcan.

A woman observes him do this with several bananas and after a while final...

A Jewish man traveled to a small mountain island

He was greeted at the harbor by a friendly resident who took him on a tour of the town. As they were walking, they heard a squeal and saw a small furry creature falling down the mountain, tumbling past them before rolling to a stop. The Jewish man looked on in astonishment at this exotic creature. <...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Jewish guy and a Chinese guy are sitting in a bar...

The Jewish guys looks at the Chinese guy, sizes him up, then socks him in the arm.

Chinese guy: "What the hell! What gives?"
Jewish guy: "That was for Peal Harbor"
Chinese guy: "That was the Japanese, I'm Chinese"
Jewish guy: "Chinese, Japanese, same difference"

Offended, but...

Quasimodo passed away

After years of hanging out in the bell tower, Quasimodo got drunk and careless and slipped over a rail, falling to his death one cold night.

The cathedral HR department put out a posting to get a replacement for him, but due to the eerie nature of the bell tower, they only got one response - ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So this guy went to Wales to work on a sheep farm.

A couple of days later, he got really lonely. So, he'd heard the legends, and figured "When in Rome...."

So he got himself a sheep. And shagged it.

While leading the sheep back to its pen, he saw a bunch of the other guys looking at him, pointing fingers and laughing.

Shoot! May...

Twelve.

A man is walking down the street alongside a sizable construction fence. It's at least 8 feet tall, and it runs the whole length of the block.

About 3 steps deep, he hears a quiet voice saying

"Twelve. Twelve. Twelve." He thinks it odd, but continues walking. Almost immediately, he h...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.