Befriended Jokes - 11 Hilarious Befriended Jokes

I befriended a stone, but it fell into the river

A shame, really. I was attached to that stone.

In the Chinese version of "Fight Club" the main character thought he had befriended a crazy anarchist.

Turns out he was Wong the whole time.

A father is planning a birthday party for his son, who is a huge Phillies fan.

The father recently befriended a sports agent, so he reaches out:

"Hey Mike, my kid's birthday is coming up on the 27th and I wanted to see if you could pull some strings to have someone from the Phillies make an appearance at his party."

"Yeah, I think Shane Victorino is actually gonn...

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A city doctor is deployed in a tribal area.

After six months of serving there,he is sexually deprived. He finally opens up to a villager he had befriended.

he asks, "Here aren't any women. How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?"

"Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you."

The next ...

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A guy walks into a bar

to meet a new friend he had recently made. After a couple of rounds his friend excuses himself to use the restroom. 30 minutes pass and his buddy still hasn't come back so he goes to check on him, but his friend was nowhere to be found. He decides to head home, but when he goes outside his car is mi...

The Melon mogul's daughter

There once was a rich melon mogul, who had dominated the melon industry for years. There was one small sector he couldn't get a foothold in, though. So he sent his only daughter there to see if she could turn it around. She was young, beautiful and knew how to run a melon operation. When she arrive ...

A Pair of Rabbits

A wild rabbit was caught and taken to a National Institute of Health laboratory. When he arrived, he was befriended by a rabbit that had been born and raised in the lab.

One evening the wild rabbit noticed that his cage hadn't been properly closed and decided to make a break for freedom. He i...

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The Bicycle: "A teaching moment"

A Priest was about to finish his ten-year tour of missionary duty and was leaving his Mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives about the Bible and Christian values, in their own language, when he realizes that the one thing he never really taught them was how to speak Engl...

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The Tale of Three Heavens

Once upon a time, long long ago, in village far far away, there lived a fairly affluent merchant who lived a nice luxurious life in his spacious mansion. The merchant befriended a homeless man who lived in front of the gates of his mansion and often gave him food.

One day, the merchant n...

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John, Paul and Frank go to heaven (flagging it NSFW just in case)

When they arrive at the gate, St. Peter checks the list and tells them a bit about heaven: "It's a great place. The fountains are full of the best wine, we have the best food that appears when you think of it. Your housing will be the most beautiful and luxurious villa you couldn't even dream of on ...

During quarantine - Lonely at home

I am lonely at home quarantined:

Day 1. Oh, that's nice.

Day 3. I read books and rest.

Day 5. I bingwatched "Friends".

Day 7. I talked to the washing machine, but I had worse days.

Day 9. My washing machine is angry. I never had worse days.

Day 11. I'm fine…...

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