UPJOKE
embellishsewpurlstitchyarnchain stitchdramatizelardpadaggrandizebroiderdramatisehandicraftblow updecorate

Embroidered Jokes

Embroidery

A young woman went into Victoria's Secret and asked if she might have the sentence, "If you can read this, you're too close!" embroidered on her panties and bra. "Yes, madam," said the clerk, "I'm quite certain that could be done. What kind of lettering would you like it done in?"

"Braille," ...

Amanda: Fred, honey, in your bathroom I found two towels, one with a letter A embroidered on it and another with an F. How thoughtful of you! I used the one with an A, because F is for Fred…

Fred: F is for face.

The Bayeux Tapestry is not strictly accurate historically.

The whole story has been embroidered. Typically, by the winners. Some say it was a stitch-up!

True story! I supervise medical residents and was told one's name was pronounced 'az-wee-pay'.

Embroidered on her lab coat: ASSWIPE

Sam, 80, went to the cafe

when he saw his old friend Marty, 82, with a bandage on his head and two black eyes. "Goodness Marty", he exclaimed, "what happened to you?"
"Well", said Marty, "I was driving down route 4 and I saw this hitchhiker. Nice looking fellow, obviously a working guy, even had one of those mechanics uni...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.