American President Jokes - 30 Hilarious American President Jokes

The American President has challenged the British Prime Minister to a debate.

Nobody knows what may happen.

Trump may trump May or May may trump Trump.

Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?

Because orange is the new black.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know that an American president gave the order to drop two atomic bobs on Japan?

It's Truman

American presidents are on a sinking ship!

Ford says: What do we do?

Bush says: Man the lifeboats!

Reagan says: What lifeboats?

Carter says: Women and children first!

Nixon says: Screw the women!

Clinton says: You think we have time?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The American President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

'Hallo, Mr. President!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare , Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!'

'Well, Paddy,' the president replied, 'How big is your army?'

'Right now,' says Paddy, after a...

Who is the most open minded American President till date.

John F. Kennedy

The American President, the Russian President and the Chinese President are all riding in a chopper.

Suddenly, the American President, overcome with pride for his country, takes out a stack of bills from his pocket, and throws it out of the chopper, yelling, "My country has a lot of money!"

Seeing this, the Russian President takes out a bottle of vodka and throws it out, shouting, "My countr...

Which American President was least guilty?

Abraham Lincoln.

He was in a cent.

I was looking up the history of past US Presidents and I realized a startling fact.

Statistically, an American President has been indicted on an average of more than two felonies.

An American and a Russian were talking in a bar The American began to boast about his country, claiming it's the land of the free. "I could walk straight up to the White House and shout "Death to the American President" and nothing happens to me."

Hearing this the Russian smirked

"I too can walk up to the Kremlin and shout " Death to the American President", nothing bad happens to me either"

The flight attendant see's a suspicious looking couple onboard,

so she reports it to the Captain immediately.

“Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty, graceful and rich looking female passenger onboard.
She looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fat, old, redhead slob who looks like a lecher, very sullen, ...

So there was an American and a Russian arguing.

Then the American said “Look, in my country I can complain about the government. I can walk into the Oval Office, pound my fist on the President’s Desk and say ‘Mr. President, I don’t like the way you’re running our country’”

The Russian said “I can do the same thing” The American was stunned...

An American and a Soviet Russian were discussing the benefits of each country.

The American says "I like America because if I don't like the way things are going, I can walk into the White House, go up to the president's desk, and say 'Mr. President, I don't like the way you're running this country'
The Russian says "It's the same in the USSR! If I don't like the way thin...

A man is protesting in the Red Square in Moscow

He holds up a sign that says "The President is an idiot".

Within 10 minutes the secret police comes to arrest him.

"But I'm not talking about President Putin!" he protests. "I'm talking about the American President."

"Nice try," says the secret police, "we know who the idiot is....

I'm a little sick and tired of people always saying that at one time or another, every single American president is guilty of something...

I mean, what about Lincoln?! After all, he's in a cent...

A Chinese citizen and an American citizen are arguing which country is better

The American citizen states "My country is the greatest country in the world; as an American I can go to Washington D.C., go to the White House, walk into the Oval Office, pound my fist on the desk and say 'Mr. President, I don't like how you are running this country!'"

The Chinese citizen la...

So, tensions with Russia flair up...

... And the Cold War reignites. With both the USA and Russia standing on the brink of total nuclear annihilation, the leaders decide to meet. Both agree that nothing on earth is worth an apocalypse, so they decide to end things once and for all; with a winner-takes-all dogfight. Both sides have 5 ye...

An American was arguing with a Russian on which of their governments were better...

The American made the case, “you know in the United States of America you can march into the White House, slam your fists on the president’s desk and say, Mr.President, I don’t like the way you are running this country.”

The Russian replied,”I can do that”.

The American in a bit of s...

3 presidents in a plane

The President of the United States of Russia and Cuba are in a jet. the American president puts his hand out the window and says I can tell we’re traveling over the United States, the crew in the plane clap and say how do you know that? the American president says well the breeze is just American,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Russian and an American get into an Argument

A Russian and an American get into an argument about who has more rights, the American says he got alot more rights, and tells the Russian that he can go to the White House and talk shit about the president and no one will do anything to him

The Russian replies with the fact that he can ...

I have lived to see something I never thought possible.

The Coronation of an American president.

The South-African, Chinese and American are all on a new experimental long distance plane together

The South-African, American and the Chinese president are all on a plane

Eventually they get tired of talking business and decide to open up a couple of beers and soon get drunk, somehow they find a way to open one of the windows of the plane and take turns sticking their hand out the window....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] 3 presidents are speaking at a convention for deaf and dumb

The Chinese president steps up to the podium, decides to be creative and starts his speech with placing his 2 fingers on his forehead and the continuing in sign language. The Russian president asks him when he comes down, what the fuck was that in the beginning, you wiggling your fingers on your for...

What important historical fact can one learn from Mount Rushmore?

The best American Presidents were stoned.

The president of U.S, Russia, and Mexico are on a plane going to a meeting in the U.N.

The president of U.S, Russia, and Mexico are on a plane going to a meeting in the U.N. They have all brought a crate of their finest spirits to give as gifts. Suddenly the pilot calls out that the plane is too heavy and is going down unless they lose some cargo.

The Russian president takes a...

Philippine Condoms

President Trump called President Duterte of the Philippines with an emergency: "Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the American President cried. "My people's favorite form of birth control! This is a national disaster!"

"Donald, the Filipino people would be happy to do anything within ...

Among all the politically incorrect jokes on this sub, here’s my favorite:

Benjamin Franklin was a great American President.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two of my fathers favorite jokes from Russia.

How do 10 American extremists have fun? They take 10 cars and one of them has no breaks. The next day 9 are happy, one is dead.

How do 10 French extremists have fun? They take 10 prostitutes and one of them has Aids. The next day 9 are satisfied, one is sad.

How do 10 Russian extre...

Old Russian Joke

The Soviet Premier and American President are both bragging about how good their intelligence services are. They decide to have a contest. The KGB, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at finding spies. They release a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catc...

French Jokes

What's the standard issue weapon in the French army? A white flag.

What's the only French martial art? Parkour, the art running away.

Like the entrance to Hogwarts, if you look at the French flag from exactly the right angle (like that of an invading army), it turns white.

An Am...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.