Alzheimer's Jokes

2 days later he gets a call from the lab.

Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you sir that your wife's test results have been mixed up with another patient's. We're not sure if she has COVID-19 or Alzheimer's disease.

Man: So what am I supposed to do now?!

Doctor: I'd recommend taking h... read more

To get to the other side.

A cop with Alzheimer's pulls a guy over. He walks up to the window and goes "You have any idea why I pulled you over?"

Patient: Atleast Idont have Cancer

Every day I have to tell this poor man that his wife died 20 years ago. I could have moved to another house or even ignore his question.
But the look of joy in his eyes whenever I answer him is worth the world.

You get to laugh at all the reposts on here everytime.

Never forget...

You're running but you can't remember where.

"Hey doc, what are the results?"

"I have two bad news. The first: you have cancer. The second: you have Alzheimer's"

"Thank God it's not cancer.

Sadly, the interviewer didn't have the presence of mind to say, "I know. You've said that already."

Yeah that's cool and all but I don't remember asking.

Oh god, we're too late

Turns out it's actually the same article.

Hey does anyone know when there'll be a cure for Alzheimer's?


Hey does anyone know when there'll be a cure for Alzheimer's?


Hey does anyone know when there'll be a cure for Alzheimer's?

I forget how it goes.

You don't recognize anybody, but everybody recognizes you.

And every morning when i wake up he's in a panic knocking at my door asking if I'd seen his wife, and every day i am forced to remind him that she has been dead for over 10 years...

Honestly i could just move, the house isn't too great, and I've had many opportunities to live in better plac... read more

But for some reason all the links were already purple.

Does it really matter whether you spill your drink or you forgot where you put it?

But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

He's got Alzheimer's

1. You can hide your own easter eggs.

2. You get to meet new people everyday.

3. You can hide your own easter eggs.

A man with Alzheimer's walks into a bar.

Oh nana, What's my name?

They don't know either.

How fast can you guess these words?
1. F_ _K
2. PU_S_
3. S_X
4. P_N_S
5. BOO_S
6. _ _NDOM


Answers:

1. FORK
2. PULSE
3. SIX
4. PANTS
5. BOOKS
6. RANDOM

You got all 6 wrong....didn't you?

Well, you don't have alzheimers, but y... read more

Thank goodness I don't have AIDS

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Alzheimer's.

Alzheimer's who?



... Knock knock.

... when they hear an ice-cream van pull up nearby. Bob turns to Bill and asks 'do you want an ice-cream Bill?'
Bob says 'yes please, but don't forget the chocolate sauce.'

Bob says 'I won't forget, don't worry. Anything else?'

Bill says 'in that case, I'll have some chopped nuts ... read more

My doctor says I'm not at risk for Alzheimer's disease, so that's good.

"Your insurance only authorized the one test, so we really can't narrow it down more."
"What should I do Doc?"
"Leave her here and drive home alone. If she shows up do not sleep with her!"

Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you that you have cancer and Alzheimer's disease.

Geezer: Well at least I don't have cancer.

Have I told you this Alzheimer's joke?

His parents look at the truck and ask, "Where did you get that truck?!"

"I bought it today," he says. "With what money?" says his mother. They knew what a new F150 cost.

"Well," he says, "this one cost me just fifteen dollars."

The father looks at him like he's crazy. "Who wo... read more

Because there are no reposts


Ps I'm so sorry.

My favorite jokes are the ones about Alzheimer's.

Plus, if there's just one positive from getting Alzheimer's... It's laughing at the brand new jokes in this subreddit all day, everyday!

They hid their own eggs.

I eat and eat and then forget to vomit.

Because it's no big deal to forget a beer but a tragedy to spill a beer.

.

.

.

That's Bavarian dark humor for you.

She says she doesn't remember what she ever saw in me

By the way, Did you know that 1 in every 3 people experience Alzheimer's at some point in their life?

As i walked away, I realised that I forgot to beat up the kid who made fun of my Alzheimer's

So I found out today I have Alzheimer's...

He had a fee of $50, no matter what ailment. If he failed in finding a cure, he would give $500 to the patient.

One day, a man came to him and said, "Doctor, my sense of taste is deteriorating."
The doctor gave him a jar and said, "Have a spoonful of this."
The man tries some, spits... read more