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Aldi Jokes

My husband commented on the new store that is being built nearby: “That’s a nice looking Aldi!”

I told him it just looks like Aldi others.

...

Sorry y’all. It’s been such a bad day, and this little exchange my hubby and I had earlier had us both laughing probably more than we should have. Hope it makes one of you out there smile too.

I got one of those Humpty Dumpty toys from Aldi.

It’s brilliant.

It comes with Aldi King’s horses and Aldi King’s men.

ALDI grocery stores have announced their new store brand peanuts.

ALDI’s nuts

What's the difference between a NY Jets fan, and a guy in an Aldi parking lot?

The guy at Aldi gets a quarter back.

I'm Gonna Bust An Aldi

Me: Hey Jared, do you want to go to Aldi's?

Jared: I prefer Subway and their 5 Dollar Footlongs

Me: I thought you were more of an Aldi's guy

Jared: Why's that?

Me: Thought you would enjoy Aldi's Nuts.

Why doesn’t Robert Plant shop at Aldi?

No quarter

I have a 24 pack of Aldi toilet rolls

Looking to swap for a 4 bedroom house

Why doesn’t Aldi have its own brand of nuts?

They could call it Aldi’s nuts.

Ha got emm

What do aldi and the nfl draft have in common?

They're both places you can get a quarterback

Hey baby do you shop at Aldi?

Cause you'll love Aldi's nuts.

Just heard on the news that some supermarkets are severely restricting how many of a particular item you can buy!

Woolworths > 1 - Container of hand sanitiser, 1 - 500g pack of rice, 1 - Ppack of toilet paper;

Coles > 1- pack of toilet paper, 1 - Container of hand sanitiser, 1 - Can of beans;

Aldi > 1 - MIG welder, 1 - Ladies sports bra, 1 - 2m tall garden trellis

Aldi recently copied Lidl's idea to reduce their prices on courgettes, cucumbers, carrots, celery, celeriac, cabbage and cauliflower, and now they're being fined for breaking piracy laws.

It's because they sale'd the seven Cs.

Been analysing my spending and it turns out rather than large purchases, most of my expenditure seems to go on the mysterious middle aisle in German supermarkets.

To put it another way: it’s not the big things, it’s Aldi Lidl things.

I got a good price on frozen treats at my local grocery store

So you can bet I’ll be eating Aldi ice cream

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man wants to kill his wife

He feels that he can't do this himself and needs to get a hit man to do it for him.
So he goes to a shady bar and starts asking around, a guy sitting at the bar over hears what he says and turns around, he says "look man I know what you want, I can do it for you" to which the guy replied "ok, wel...

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