An electrical engineer, a mechanical engineer, and an IT admin are in a car that won't start.

Electrical Engineer: "It has to be the battery. Let's check that."

Mechanical Engineer: "No, I think it's the engine. Let's check that instead."

IT Admin: "How about this? Let's all get out of the car and get back in."

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CAN ADMINS OF THIS SUBREDDIT REDDIT DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?!

WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, A WOMAN. SHE’S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES. SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE X IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE SE AND OB...

Hey admin....

What happened to my chiropractic joke I posted, about a week back?

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How many redditors does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many redittors does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers ...

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The 72 virgins were not what I expected

Turns out it was just a reddit admin meeting.

Tired of all the reposts, the admin team decided to number the jokes. So, if anyone wanted to repost, they'd just post the number and take their karma.

A new subscriber comes and watches this, unable to understand. He sees a post with just the number 3771, having 2.1k upvotes. He gets very confused.
So, he decides to make a post of himself. He posts 92075, and he gets 45.6k upvotes. He is intrigued, so much that he messages the mod team and ask...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TO THE ADMIN OF THIS GROUP

CAN YOU PLEASE TRY TO HAVE A LITTLE MORE CONTROL OVER WHO YOU LET IN. THERE IS A NEW MEMBER. AN ELDERLY WOMAN. SHE HAS BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEN. SHE SENDS NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN GROTESQUE POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER LADY GARDEN. SHE IS OFFERING A SAMSUNG GALAXY S8 IN EXCHANGE FOR SEX...

I wrote a haiku about admins and mods

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Are people born with photographic memories?

Or do they take a while to develop?

Why the fuck are you morons spending real money on Reddit awards? Fucking STOP it. Reddit admins do NOT deserve any kind of money at all. The just banned 200 odd subreddits - and you fucking halfwits want to reward them for it.

Fuck's sake.

My IT admin says I can't use "beef stew" as a password...

He says it isn't Stroganoff.

A king, a businessman and a network admin in hell.

A king, a businessman and a network admin meet the devil at the gates to hell.
- You can make one phone call, but you'd have to pay for it, - says the devil.
The king makes his call, asks who's the new ruler of the kingdom, was quickly assured that everything is fine, hangs the phone with ...

Admin : Adds Erica to the group.

David: Hi Erica welcome to the group.

Erica: Hi guys, I am new to the city.

Sam: Hi Erica don’t worry, I am here, any problems I will be the solution.

Kevin: Hi Erica. Tell me if you have any problem, I will arrange a solution for you.

Kyle: Hi Erica, if you need anyt...

3 Database admins walk into a NoSQL bar

They soon walk out because they couldn't find a table.

There were tons of reddit admins responsible for today's commotion.

But not many of them.

Why was my post removed

Can someone from admin please explain to me why my post was removed?

I'm really annoyed about this because now my fence has fallen over.

New job needed

Went to work today at the bank and immediately got called up to h.r. department. H.r. admin asked why I'm at work and naked. I explained that my gf came in to the room this morning without any clothes on and told me to get naked and get to work.

Anyone hiring?

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What did the Linux admin say to his racoon friend?

I am root.

Where do admins go for summer break?

Banned camp.

How many reddit admins does it take to screw in a light bulb

Ill let you know once they get back to me

I recently started dating a girl in admin....

She's just great, she really ticks all the boxes

How many Reddit admins does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they like to keep the mods in the dark.

Two admins meet at work

"A friend of mine was able to shut down the main server just in 5 minutes!"
"Wow. He is a hacker?"
"No. Just an idiot."

The Trump admin has the politest people

Whenever they meet, they all say "'Pardon me."

What are a storage admin's favorite pair of pants?

Dockers

What do Steam users and Reddit admins have in common?

They don't want to pay for mods.

Personally, I'm fine with what Reddit's admins are doing.

It's fun watching them Digg their own grave.

A pastor, IT server admin and a Thai ladyboy walk into a bar

The bartender asks him what he would like to drink.

Reddit admins once ate a whole Pizza

Hut.

You know what system Admins at Google are called?

Probably Groot

Top 10. jokes about mods and admins

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[Computers] Why do Linux admins always take Xanax?

Because they're constantly battling their daemons.

The year is 2028 and r/jokes is going strong...

A new user gets on to r/jokes and sees the most upvoted joke just says "28"

The second most upvoted joke says "3915"

The third most upvoted joke says "756"

He can't see why they're getting so many upvotes, so he comments "These aren't jokes, they're numbers"

The admin rep...

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Five Minute Management Lesson

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob ...

Why female sys-admins restart systems more often then men?

Because they love those new boots!

Why did the spider become a forum admin?

So he could make a sticky thread.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A reddit admin awoke to the sound of a beeping alarm clock

but pressed the snoo's button and went back to sleep

What is the network admin favourite lullaby?

Mary had a little LAN

Reposts versus retellings. (Not a joke)

I just wanted to make a quick PSA about jokes.

Jokes are meant to be retold. A good joke gets told a thousand times, and spreads like a virus. Like a virus a joke will often mutate and change as it passes from person to person, often tweaked for better performance.

Now, what is the dif...

This is the third time I've read the policy upon posting jokes.

Ok Admin, i reddit already

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I'm a big fan of the Beatles, in particular Paul McCartney.

I made an account on the official Beatles website and made my profile picture an album of Paul McCartney throughout the years. However an admin told me I was going to be banned, I asked why and was shown the list of rules and the first was "Users are not allowed multipaul accounts."

So There's This German Driving Game...

...with all these servers for multiplayer. One server has this automatic cheat-detection system that bans players if it thinks they're hacking at all.

Well unfortunately, there's this one stretch of one particular freeway where the road is so bad it blasts drivers off into the sky. The cheat ...

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Trump snuffs it, and arrives at the Pearly Gates

they issue him with a Redirect Notice, and he is sent to the not-so-pearly ones.
The Devil looks at his clipboard irritably.
“Look, I’ve got a problem. You’re due here about now, but I’m full. I’ll have to ID one of the temporary inmates, whose sentence is just about up, and give them an ...

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A mod at /r/winemaking dies.

Over at /r/winemaking, the mod died and the admins wanted to replace him with a winetaster. A blind drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position. Fearing potential community backlash, the admin of the subreddit wondered how to send him away. He gave him a glass to drink.
...

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Quality assurance joke about sex (NSFW)

There was a quality assurance bug tester who was interested in getting pregnant. She read on a factual website that having sex without a condom will make you pregnant, so that's what she did. However, a month later, she was not pregnant.

Frustrated, she submitted a complaint to the website th...

So a Man visits r/jokes in 2025

All he sees are just numbers on posts. Confused he asked the admin why was that. The admin replied " We have been through every single joke in the world so now we are just replacing the entire jokes with numbers." After hearing this he decides to make a post. He typed in a random string of numbers a...

A nerdy sysadmin joke for today

Why do programmers think Halloween's the same as Christmas?










Because 31OCT == 25DEC





(thank you very much)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

These two guys , Scott and Steve die in a horrible plane crash

As they approach the pearly gates they come upon an able bodied administrator who goes by the name of Peter. This saintly individual welcomes them and says, we are a bit backed up today so we can offer you a visit with some of your fallen comrades while you wait if this pleases you. They quickly ...

Yet another genie in the lamp joke

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving...

You know r/science cures cancer every other week,

but the site admins always manage to get Reddit up and running again very quickly.

IQ result

Psych Admin: "Sir, your IQ results are in, you scored 91."

Me: "Wow, my first A+"

Yo momma so fat...

She's a Reddit admin!

Ellen Pao walks into [this content violates our ban on anti-reddit propoganda policy and his thus been banned ]

*Admin Note:*

*The next user to make a joke about our glorious leader Ellen Pao shall be banned along with the offending subreddit.*

*Signed:*

*Grand Vizier Hippo Hamburger*

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Phil dies and is met by the Devil in front of three doors.

The Devil takes him to one side. 'Look, Phil,' he says, 'we're trying something out to cut down on admin down here. We used to assign punishments to the damned that fit their sins, but now we're letting people choose themselves.'

He gestures to the three doors. 'What I can do for you is this:...

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Government joke

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said someone may steal from it at night, so they created a night watchman position (GS-4) and hired a person for the job.


Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" ...

What has shadier inner workings, Reddit or FIFA?

Still waiting to hear back from an admin.

I wanted to date a girl once...

but as a server admin I couldn't come out of my shell.

The funniest thing about this whole situation

Didn't some of the reddit admins promise greater transparency or something? And then they just had this whole situation drop on us without any official explanation or announcement or reasoning.

Sure they might not have an obligation to discuss about a particular employee, but this certainly i...

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