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Dusty Hill Blinked his eye open.

His head felt fuzzy. His eyes sticky. Dusty Hill Blinked his eyes open. "Wake up Dusty" said a familiar voice. His eyes focused, his brain whirled. It couldn't be who it seemed to be. Jimi mother fucking hendrix?

.

"Wake up Dusty. It's showtime!" Said the coolest voice ev...

A guy walks into the doctors office with a stomach ache

Doctor says :"Sir, you have worms in you intestines."

Patient freaks out :"what do I do doc?! Get them out of me!!"

Doc replies: "there is only one solution for that, get a watermelon, cut it in half and sit on it. Their leader will come down, taste it and tell the others to come out a...

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When The Body Was First Made, Who Was the Most Important

One day, all the parts of the body were talking about who was most important.

THE BRAIN SAID – “Since I control everything and do all the thinking, I am the most important therefore I should be boss.”

THE FEET SAID – “Since I carry him everywhere he wants to go and get him in position ...

A Destructive Relationship Ended

```

A friend once introduced us
I hardly even knew

The ties that seemed to bind us
Imperceptively grew

Eventually my body ached
I could only think your name

At 3am I lied awake
Longing for a change

You pulled me from
the ones I love
To...

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The tale of Old Joe

There once was a man named Paul who, after some trouble with the law, found himself homeless behind a fast food joint just outside of Wichita, Kansas. He stayed there for a few days, drinking from the bathroom sinks and eating scraps from the trash, when an old rancher named Joe found him and took p...

Three women are stranded on a deserted island.

They were on the island for quite some time, but luckily they finally spotted a boat in the distance. They had no flares and no way of telling the boat they were on the island.

The first woman, a brunette, decided to try to swim to the boat. She swam 1/3 of the way, then drowned.

The ...

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The fastest thing...

Science teacher asks the kids, what is the fastest thing they know.

Timmy: Electricity!

Teacher: Why? Tell us?

Timmy: Whenever I press the light switch in my room, it takes less than a second to be on.

Teacher: Good example Timmy.


Fred: A lightning!

Teac...

A Texan in Scotland

A Texan is touring Europe and he ends up in a Scottish pub sitting across from an older Scotsman. As Texans tend to do, he starts bragging about how big everything is in Texas.

“Down on my ranch outside Dallas, I can walk out my front door at sunrise, get in my big ol’ Cadillac, start ‘er on...

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