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Whoops Jokes

AITA? I bought my coworker chicken avocado instead of tuna avocado from Subway, and now they’re mad.

Whoops, wrong sub.

TIFU by accidentally cheating on my wife at a BDSM convention with a woman who was wearing the same leather mask

Whoops, wrong sub

TIL that you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy for boarding the wrong vessel just once.

Whoops, wrong sub

What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?

"Whoops, my fault"

TIFU by hiding in poison oak

Whoops, wrong shrub

TIFU when I brought my pregnant wife home a meatball foot long instead of the teriyaki chicken she asked for

Whoops, wrong sub.

TIL: After Pearl Harbor, US warships fired upon friendly u boats heading back to port.

Whoops, wrong sub.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband on a work trip when decides to call his wife at home...

A woman the husband doesn't recognize picks up the phone.

"Who is this?" asks the husband.

"I'm the maid. I was hired yesterday," says the maid.

"Ah. Could you put my wife on the phone?" asks the husband

"No, she's busy having sex with someone in the room upstairs," repli...

I'm not sure churches are the best places for PokèStops...

a priest just asked me in and offered me a Slowpoke

“Do you really have to lick the knife!?” she asked with a disapproving frown. “Whoops! Sorry! Force of habit.” I said, chuckling. “Lots of people do it though, don’t they?!”

“Yes, but not during surgery, doctor.”

Whoops, almost forgot to bring my llamas

Alpaca pair

Whoops.. No Present

Forget about the past, you can't change it.

Forget about the future, you can't predict it.

Forget about the present, I didn't get you one.

I accidentally sent my friend flowers over the internet

Whoops, E-Daisies

Why does the Norway Navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?

So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian!

Edit: whoops I meant Norwegian Navy

Edit 2: Thanks to commenters I have links to other people who have posted this joke! I haven’t been around very long so I didn’t know, go give them an upvote as well if you’d like!

2015:...

How do you say "whoops" in German?

World War 2

A man walks into a bar, and is torn apart in seconds.

Whoops, sorry. Bear\*

Man went to the butchers and asked if he had any ox tales

‘Sure’ replied the butcher ‘once upon a time an ox…’

Sorry messed up title should read ‘ox tails’ whoops

I need advice. I was whipping someone in a gimp mask during a BDSM session, but when he took it off - it wasn't my husband.

Whoops, wrong sub.

I don’t get it..Travis Scott is trash, but it seems everyone is dying to see him live

Whoops.

TIL that in 1940 a German U-Boat captain found himself aboard a British vessel.

Whoops, wrong sub.

TIFU by plugging in the wrong speaker into my computer, causing a blackout in my neighbourhood

Whoops, wrong sub

TIL subway workers can get fired for messing up one sandwich.

Whoops, wrong sub.

[WP] You are an assassin in WWII trying to find a German defector on a U-boat. Unfortunately you got a little lost on the dock...

Whoops, wrong sub.

So a navy man returns to his ship after a night in port. The next morning he's shocked to find everyone speaking Russian...

Whoops, wrong sub.

TIFU by accidentally cutting down by neighbour's hedge instead of my own

Whoops, wrong shrub.

Just had a quickie in the back of a UPS truck

Oh whoops... They prefer the term "expedited package delivery"

Im giving up drinking for a year

Whoops, that came out wrong

Im giving up, drinking for a year.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Shopping at Tiffany’s

A lady walks into Tiffany’s, looks around, spots a beautiful diamond necklace and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely at it, she unexpectedly farts.
Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little whoops and prays that a salesman wasn’...

TIL that back in the 1940s, as a result of failed communications between engineers and builders, the Soviet Union built thousands of submarines based on recalled 1850s schematics, resulting in millions of dollars in military funding being wasted.

Whoops, wrong sub.

TIFU by accidentally walking out with the footlong BLT of the guy ahead of me in line

Whoops, wrong sub

TIFU by putting ham in a muslim lady's foot long

Whoops wrong sub

Edit: Apparently this is the original version of the joke https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2qmkf0/tifu_by_mixing_up_by_wifes_sandwich_order_at/

TIL that Nikola Tesla threw the bomb that killed Archduke Franz Ferdinand, sparking WWI...

Whoops, wrong Serb.

My Sewing skills aren't up to scratch...

Whoops! Wrong thread.

I took the number 25 instead of the 52 today thanks to my dyslexia

Whoops, wrong bus

TIL you can lose your job as a dominatrix by whipping the wrong guy.

Whoops, wrong sub.

TIL that a class was taught by the wrong stand in teacher and the students knowingly went along with it.

Whoops, wrong sub.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It really annoys me when Americans act like they cracked the secret of Nazi codes when they took the Enigma machine off U-751.

Whoops, wrong sub.

V

V.

Whoops, lost ctrl.

As a dyslexic person who frequently fails to board the proper means of public transportation...

Whoops, wrong bus.

TIL that, in 1917, England mistook an Italian maritime transport for a German one, so they attacked it.

Whoops, wrong sub.

Re

Whoops, look like I got caught Re-posting...

A calculus joke:

A 120 pound camera sits atop a tripod. How much force does each leg hold?

Whoops. Meant to type 130. Forgot that the camera adds 10 pounds.

Does only being able to recycle number 1 and 2 plastics upset anyone else?

I just moved to a new city and they don’t recycle anything above a 2. Is it like this in a lot of places? I hope I can find somewhere to drop off my other plastics.

TIFU by getting into the wrong car after the European Auto Show.

whoops, wrong Saab

Girls that like me

*edit: Whoops, looks like I put the joke in title. My bad.

My girlfriend asked me "if I was a vegetable, what would I be"?

Apparently the answer she was looking for was "a Cute cumber", not "single"...whoops

TIFU by getting on the normal bus instead of the dyslexic one

Whoops, wrong bus.

If you ever trip in public...

...get up, laugh a little, and say, "Whoops, it's been awhile since I inhabited a body."

TIL that you can be kicked out of Subway for taking a bite out of someone else's food.

Whoops, wrong sub.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde comes home from school munching on a candy bar...

Her mom asks her where she got it.

"I got it from Johnny! All I had to do was climb the flag pole at school!" she says.

"Oh, Jenny! You're such a dumb-ass. He was just trying to look up your skirt and see your panties!"

"Whoops!" Jenny says.

The next day she comes home,...

I am one of the only survivors of the Kursk submarine incident. Ask Me Anything!

Whoops, wrong sub.

My vacuum cleaner recently had babies

Oh whoops, I meant my dog

[Walks into a bar] A forgetful women of three children walks into a bar, intensely focused on knitting a sweater for her eldest...

Whoops, wrong thread.

I accidentally ordered a ham and cheddar instead of a turkey and swiss...

Whoops, wrong sub

TIFU by watching Anime on a non-English website

Whoops, wrong dub

TIFU when my dyslexia made me take the wrong ride to work

Whoops, wrong bus

[x-post from r/dyslexia] Today I misread 63 as 68 so it took me twice as long to get home with the public transport

Whoops, wrong bus

TIFU by hiring a homeless man to teach my students while I was sick.

Whoops, wrong sub.

A guy with an inverted sight boarded a bus to a random location.

Whoops, wrong sub.

Comedians of reddit, what's the most popular joke you've ever stolen, but still got away with it?

Whoops, wrong sub

I went to a sandwich shop and ordered a pastrami sandwich, but I received a meatball marinara.

Whoops, wrong sub

TIL that if you plug your amp into a 12" instead of your 8", you get fireworks.

Whoops. Wrong sub.

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