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Crackle Jokes

What snaps, crackles and pops when you throw them on the ground?

The elderly.

I read that Snap, Crackle and Pop were found murdered along with Captain Crunch and Tony the Tiger

Authorities suspect it's the work of a cereal killer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you cross a diaper and some cereal?

Snap, crackle poop.

(This is my 8 yr olds favorite joke and she wanted me to make sure everyone on that joke website I go to knew it.)

You know you're getting old when...

... you start each morning with snap, crackle, pop, and then you have breakfast.

To his great surprise, Bob won the largest lottery in history.

Unsure what to do with his newfound fortune, he decided to build the world's biggest ship. It was 10 miles long and 3 miles wide; a floating city. Once the ship was complete, Bob had to hire thousands of people to work on it and make it run properly. He held mass interviews and hired sailors, police...

Hey Dad, you hear the one about the illegitimate cereal?

Snap, Crackle, and no Pop.

(I got that from this '70's movie)

Whats the last thing a serial killer hear before he kills his next victim?

Snap crackle pop

NASA Scientists were eagerly waiting for the rover to send back the first sounds from Mars.

A program decades in the making, a feat of engineering never before accomplished. Not only did they include high resolution cameras for the landing, but incredibly robust microphones to capture the first sounds from an alien planet.

The team of people were huddled around a lab station for hou...

Did you hear about the new breakfast cereal, Prostituties?

It doesn't go Snap, Crackle, Pop. It just lays there and Bangs.

Did you hear the Coco Pops monkey was recently murdered?

Tony the Tiger, Snap, Crackle and Pop all got killed too.

Police think its the work of a serial killer.

truckers...

As a Polish truck driver is driving east he sees a truck driving west, and the CB crackles to life. "Hey, buddy, who are the two biggest morons in America?" comes from the CB.

"I don't know," says the Polack.

The other driver says, "You and your brother!"

"Screw you," says the P...

A compass, a cough drop, and a match.

As a Boy Scout, we would camp a lot and go on hikes.


One night, we had to do a night hike, alone, for a merit badge. I had left the campsite about an hour earlier and a terrible storm rolled in. The sky opened up and the ground was quickly saturated. I tried to continue my hike for anothe...

The train driver.

Once upon a time there was a guy that was very passionate about trains ever since he was a little kid.

So no one was surprised that once he grew up he became a train conductor.

However as much as he loved trains he was really terrible at driving them.

Sadly, one day he caused a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sailor and a priest are playing golf...

The sailor takes a shot. He places the ball down, smacks it with the club, and watches as it goes flying straight into a sand trap. The sailor mumbles to himself

“Fuck, I missed...”

The priest, hearing him, immediately snaps round and says

“Young man! Please do not use such awf...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Birth of Baby Ruth

It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?"

Well, she immediate...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dishes

Wanting a more adventurous life, Frank decides to buy a Harley Davidson. So he goes to a local Harley dealer to have him informed about the different types.

When he get's to the dealer he immediately spots a beautiful Fat Boy with everything he could ever hoped for, beautiful chrome tailpipes...

It was a dark and stormy night

It was a dark and stormy night, and this day, a soldier walks into an inn and asks for a room. Lucky for him, there was one room free, and he grabs his bag, hikes up the stairs to his room, and goes in. The storm only gets worse, and 2 male Navy SEALS come into the inn, and ask for a room. The perso...

A four-engine passenger jet experiences engine trouble...

...and the pilot comes on the intercom, saying, "Passengers, we apologize, but we have experienced an engine burn-out. The plane can still fly on the remaining three engines, but we'll be delayed in our arrival by two hours."

A few minutes later, the airplane shakes, and passengers see smoke ...

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