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Dna Test Jokes

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A Wife took a DNA test for her kid

After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks strange so she decides to do a DNA test.

She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.

Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.

Husband: What's up?

Wife: According to DNA t...

Am I adopted?

Fred came home from University in tears.

"Mum, am I adopted?"

"No of course not", replied his mother. Why would you think such a thing?

Fred showed her his genealogy DNA test results. No match for any of his relatives, and strong matches for a family who lived the other side o...

Son: "Dad, did you get your DNA test results back?"

Dad: "Call me George."

Why did the blonde ask for a DNA test on her new baby?

She wanted to make sure it was hers.

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Trump looks out on the snow covered White House Lawn, and notices that someone has pissed “Trump Sucks” in the fresh snow.

Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. A few days later, the head of the SS says “Mr President, I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is we’ve done a dna test on the urine, and found the culprit. It turns out it’s Mike Pence’s.” “That traitor”, shouts Trump. “I’ll have him hang...

Beware of DNA tests!

In England, young Robert Keystone Townsend II, was given a DNA test from a friend for his birthday, which revealed a terrible family secret: His father was not his actual father, but still related somehow. When confronted with the question of why this horrible truth was hidden from him for so long, ...

We did a DNA test on our bullfrog from Arkansas…

Surprisingly, it was about 80% French, 15% German, and a tad Pole…

I took a DNA test

Turns out, I am 70% water and 2% milk

A frog went for a DNA test...

The results came back 99.9% amphibian and a tad Polish.

Why wife just had her myheritage DNA test back

Turns out she is a Karen...

She is on the phone with the company to complain about the results.

Once I took a DNA test.

It was pretty hard but I think I passed.

I just took a DNA test, turns out, I'm 100%

going to jail for shoplifting.

how do you study for a DNA test?

highlight the answers with a genetic marker

A home DNA test kit

does not make a good baby shower gift.

Frog DNA...

A frog got his DNA test back.
He's part Scottish, part Irish and a tad Pole.

How long do those mail in DNA tests take to receive back?

My son was born with a different skincolor than myself and wife. Just wondering what Recessive traits we're passed down to him. I mailed it off over 6 months ago and still no response....

I can't believe I got fired from my job at the DNA testing facility.

After all the blood, sweat, and tears I put in.

A dorito asks the doctor whether or not he's done the DNA test to his son yet....

The doctor responds, "Yes, I'm afraid he's NACHO son."

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My ancestry DNA test shows 10% African, 20% Mexican, 40% Cuban, 5% Chinese...

Mom, what this even mean?

-Mom "a fucking great party"

New DNA tests have revealed that Orville and Wilbur’s parents were actually Chinese.

So I guess that means two Wongs make a Wright.

“Mom I think I’m adopted!”

Mom: No you’re not Nathan! Why would you say such a thing!?

Nathan: Well, I’ve just got the results back from a DNA test that I did and it says I’ve got no living relatives?!

Mom: This is nonsense, let’s show this to your dad…

Dad *walks in*: Well of course he’s not our son, don...

Levels of stress.

1) You pick up a hitchhiker, A beautiful young girl. Suddenly she faints inside your car. You take her to the hospital.

-Stressful

2) But hospital says she is pregnant and you are going to be a father. You swiftly say that you are not the father, but the girl says you are!!

-Ver...

A young couple has a new baby, but after a while the mother starts to think the baby doesn't resemble her or her husband . . .

She decides to get a DNA test done, and sure enough, the results come back that it is not their child.

"Honey, I don't know how to tell you this," she says to her husband. "The baby . . . she's not . . . ours."

"Yeah," says the husband.

"What do you mean, 'yeah'?" she says. "You...

A highly suspicious couple are trying to have a baby

When the woman finally falls pregnant, they visit the doctor for some check ups. While there, the man asks the doctor how he can be sure that he’s the father.
“We can do a DNA test.” The doctor replies.

“And how do I know I’m the mother?” The pregnant woman asks.

“We can do an IQ te...

A Canadian couple made province-shaped cookies

A baker in Canada thought it would be fun to bake cookies that were each in the shapes of Canada's provinces and territories.

"These look delicious," said her husband.

"Thanks!" she said. "And don't worry, I've made some of each shape so you're able to eat them."

"What do you me...

What’s the only test a person with Down syndrome does well on?

A DNA test, they get a 47 out of 46.

After 10 years of raising their child

, the mother notices that the kid looks different.

So, she decided to do a DNA test.

The results come out, and show that the child isn't theirs.

She tells her husband, "I have some terrible news, dear. This is not our baby!".
The husband replies, "yes, do you not remember?...

If Jesus Christ was born today...

DNA tests would figure out who the father was.

Once there was a foster kid named Jumprope

No one through YEARS of guessing and thinking could figure out why on earth his birth parents would give him such a dumb name. They finally figured out why when he took a DNA test to figure out his ancestry, both of his parents were from the Netherlands. He was double dutch.

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A man and his wife have a baby.

As soon as they are leaving the hospital the baby poops and the wife tells her husband to change him.

A year passes and the woman keeps noticing how the baby looks less and less like them so she does a DNA test.

The test comes back and the woman runs to her husband screaming that the b...

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After 10 years...

After 10 years, a mother realizes her kid looks a little funny and gets a DNA test done. Surprise, it's not her child! She tells the husband, who calmly replies, "What, you don't remember?" The wife shakes her head worriedly, hoping her husband's answer will fill in the gap. He says to her: "When we...

High or High Blood? :D

The Attorney tells the accused, "I have some good news and some bad news."

"What's the bad news?" asks the accused.

"The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it."

"What's the good news?"

"Your cholesterol is 130."

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Indian man were in the hospital.

Their wives had just given birth and the three new fathers were waiting to see their newborn sons. A doctor came and ushered them into the newborn nursery. When they got there a worried-looking nurse said, "There's a problem. We forgot to put wristbands on the babies, and now we don't know which ...

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Dad-Son

Dad: There's this test we need to go for.
Son: You never told me earlier! I'm going to fail now.
Dad: It's a DNA test. You have to pass.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Johnny’s mom was worried he didn’t look like anyone in their family.

After months of thinking about it, she finally decides to have a DNA test. She’s devastated to find out that her son is a zero percent match to her and her husband and goes to her husband to tell him.

“Hunny, Johnny is a zero percent match! He is not our son.”

“I know that!” ...

An Asian American man is curious about his lineage

An Asian American man is curious about his lineage. He decides to find out more about his biological parents. His adopted parents always told him that he was born in China, so he starts there.

He digs around and tries to find out more about his parents. He searches for any information regardi...

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My favorite medical joke

A radiologist, internist, surgeon and pathologist go duck hunting for the first time together. Huddled in their duck blind, they see their first bird in the distance take flight but don’t want to shoot something not in season. They quickly debate the best way to assure it’s truly a duck.

...

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