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Pinto Jokes

What's the difference between a chickpea and a pinto bean?

I never had a pinto bean on my face

3 men are in line to get into heaven

St. Peter is waiting at the gates of heaven and calls the first man up.

Peter says, "You never cheated on your wife! I'm going to let you drive around heaven in a Ferrari!"

So he gets in the car and drives off through the gates.

Peter then called 2nd man up. Peter says, "Oh no, ...

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My wife is like a 1974 Pinto.

She always blows up when I try to ram her in the ass.

Cheating husband dies and makes it to the pearly gates.

St Peter looks at him and says "You were unfaithful to your wife 28 times. Don't worry, you'll be accepted in -- only you won't get a brand new car like those who were more loyal in their marriage"

Confused the man asks "I get a car though?"

St Peter replies "Of course. Everyone needs ...

What’s the difference between a chick pea and a pinto bean?

I don’t enjoy when a pinto beans in my mouth

What’s 120 pinto beans plus 120 kidney beans?

Two-farty

My friend and I decided to race our Ford Pintos.

Mine broke down three miles down the road. I had to walk the rest of the way.


I won.

Three guys died and when they got to the pearly gates....

.....St. Peter met them there. St. Peter said, "I know that you guys are forgiven because you're here. Before I let you into Heaven, I have to ask you something. You have to have a car in Heaven because Heaven is so big, what kind of car you get will
depend on your answer."

The first guy ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 men visit Heaven

3 men die and go to Heaven. The men are greeted by god who explains to them that heaven is very large and they will need cars to get around. The car they are given is based on each mans faithfulness to his wife while living. The first man was married 25 years and cheated on his wife 30 times, he is ...

Larry, Moe and Joe die and go to heaven

At the pearly Gates, St Peter tell them well since you were overall good people I’ll let you into Heaven however all your Heavenly possessions will be based on how faithful you were to your spouses. Let’s start with you Larry: in 20 years of marriage you cheated on your wife Jennifer 5 times, that m...

What did Garbanzo say to his friend Pinto after they hadn’t seen each other for years?

How you bean?

The Polite Way to go for a Pee

During one of her daily classes, a teacher Miss Pinto trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

Michael said: 'Just a minut...

Three Guys Are Waiting in Line at The Pearly Gates...

Saint Peter calls the first guy up. He looks over the man's life history and says, "It looks here, like you lived a decent life. You never cheated on your wife... but you thought about it. A lot. Seems you probably would have, if given the chance. You can go on in, and here are the keys to your...

Three friends die and go to heaven...

and meet God at the gate. God tells them that he will give them cars to drive into heaven, but first they have to tell him how many times they cheated on their wives, and they shouldn't bother lying because he has a big record book of every person's actions.

God turns to the first man and ask...

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Fishing is expensive

A young student looking for a job goes to a big “everything under one roof” department store.

The Manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?” The kid says “Very little.”

Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. “You start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see ...

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Heaven is a big place

Three guys arrive at the pearly gates together having all perished in different circumstances. Seeing the lineup they all wonder what separates them from access into the gates of heaven. As time goes by the line disappears and the three men find themselves next up. Peter is standing with a hand on t...

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