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Us Election Jokes

Unlike past US Elections, the 2024 election is shaping up to be a feisty contest between the GOP and Dems.

The Geriatric Old People's Party and the Dementia Party.

Xi and Biden have a bet

Xi wagers that in 100 years time China would be the dominant superpower, while Biden is confident that the USA will remain uncontested.

So after their terms ended and they reached the end of their mortal coil, they were cryogenically preserved in Switzerland and woken up in 100 years.

...

I know who is gonna win the US election

Not the american people

To stop Russia from interfering with US election

the winner will be announced one week before end of the election.

I was going to make a joke about the result of the US election

But I don't think you would ever get it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This must be the place where the US election happen

Because they have a fucking joke of a president.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between the US election and sex?

During sex it's fun to choose between asshole and cunt.

I kinda want Hillary to win the US election

Just for the sheer irony of her sitting at the desk Monica was under.

Why isn't NSA mass surveillance a hot topic in the US elections?

Because it's the only part of the govt that listens to the American people.

Heard the one about the Russian hacker meddling in US elections?

The FBI agent monitoring your phone is going to love it!

If Kanye West actually won the US Election and became the president, I think he would turn America into a communist nation.

Because he believes no one man should have all that power.

Why isn't r/jokes covering the US elections?

It's supposed to be the biggest joke of the year..

a Trumper dies and goes to heaven.

After getting processed in by St.Peter he goes to find God. He finds God in the garden listening to the birds.

M: "Can I ask you something?"

G: "Anything my child"

M: "Who was the rightful victor of the 2020 US election?"

G: "Joe Biden won fair and square my child"
...

What do you call a clown and a crook rolling in feces?

The US elections.

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